Writing

What Is a Paradox?

If you have two pet dogs, you have a paradox (pair of dogs). Groan! Alright, alright, I’ll stop trying to be punny, and I’ll take this question a little more seriously. Simply put, a paradox is a statement that seems to contradict itself, but could very well be true. I adore paradoxes because they often make you do a double-take after you read the words.

Examples of Paradox

Here’s an example of a paradox. Someone says, “I’m a compulsive liar, you know.” That’s an interesting piece of information. Do you believe someone who says that? If someone is a compulsive liar, they won’t tell the truth unless they absolutely have to. So, if they say they are a compulsive liar, is that a lie unto itself meaning that they really aren’t a compulsive liar? I’m going to stop even thinking about that one because my brain might go into a continuous loop from which it will never escape. I’m getting a headache already!

Literary Pardoxes

Sometimes, paradoxes are used in literature to make us think about something. For example, in George Orwell’s book, Animal Farm, the ruling animals tell us, “All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others.” In the story, the farm animals overthrow the farmer and take over the farm in order to be “equal,” but ultimately, a few of them end up with all the power. This allegorical story and the quote we just looked at illustrate the paradox of so-called social equality. We can claim it exists, but there will always be those who have an advantage over others.

Have you ever heard the paradoxical saying “I must be cruel to be kind?” Sure you have! What you probably didn’t know was that this saying is one of the many lines we’ve borrowed from Shakespeare’s plays to use in everyday language. Although it sounds like a contradiction in terms, it really can be true. Sometimes we have to do something that people really won’t like in order to help them.

Oxymorons as Paradoxes

No! Don’t run away! There’s nothing complicated about oxymorons, they’re simply words or phrases that contain a contradiction in terms. For instance, “bittersweet” is an oxymoron, and it’s also a paradox.

A crash landing is also a paradox if you think about it. Surely, you either crash or you land. How can you do both? Nevertheless, we know the meaning of the term even though it seems to defy logic. The same goes for a near miss. If you nearly missed something, you must have missed it, right? But this term is used to indicate a near hit!

How about an escaped prisoner? If someone has escaped, they are surely no longer a prisoner, at least for the time being. But instead of even thinking about how illogical this word combination is, we rush to lock all our doors if we hear that an escaped prisoner has been spotted in our neighborhood.

Then, of course, there are those who say that “military intelligence” is an oxymoron, but I won’t risk annoying the armed forces by agreeing with that, at least, not in public.

Everyday Paradoxes

We’re confronted by paradoxes every day of our lives. How often have you seen an advertisement that says “Buy now and save!”? That’s a paradox. If you buy, you spend, and if you spend, you’re not saving. We know that they really mean you’ll pay less than you otherwise would.

Have you heard about “fighting for peace?” It seems like a crazy idea. As long as you’re fighting, you’re making war, not peace! However, if you are fighting against an army or organization that has caused a lot of unrest around the world, you really could be fighting for peace, paradoxical as it may sound.

When you discuss a hilarious comedy, you might tell your friends it was seriously funny. Paradox! But it doesn’t confuse them in the least. They go and watch the comedy in the expectation of a really good laugh.

Do you like seafood? Next time you order up a plate of jumbo shrimp, remember to give the paradox a little acknowledgment. Shrimps are pretty small, in fact, they’re famous for it. But jumbo shrimps are, at least, bigger than other shrimps, even if they are still quite small.

I could go on — we can call somebody a “nobody.” We might “act naturally” when we’re playing a hoax on someone, or we might remind someone that “less is more.” Look out for everyday paradoxes; you’ll come across more of them than you ever expected.

Scientific Paradoxes

Did you know it takes more hot water to make cold water hot than it takes cold water to make hot water cold? It really does. That’s why we run the hot water first when filling a bathtub. This is a very simple paradox, and there is an easily understandable reason for it, but there are much more complex ones. You’ll find paradoxes in astrophysics, quantum mechanics, biology, chemistry, linguistics, and even mathematics. No matter what field you study, you will come across paradoxes to boggle your mind and make life seem just a bit weirder and more wonderful. I think paradoxes are really interesting, which makes them fun. What do you think?

(Photo courtesy of Anders Sandberg)

100 Shakespeare Quotes You Might Hear Today

Shakespeare, he’s terribly highbrow isn’t he? And besides, it’s all in archaic English that we just don’t use any more. If we were to go around quoting Shakespeare, people would think us pretentious – or would they?

The truth is that Shakespeare was the HBO of the times. He wrote entertaining plays for the masses and played on themes such as sex, murder, mystery, magic and politics. His work was the 17th century equivalent of “Game of Thrones,” except that the girls weren’t as gorgeous because the morals of the times forbade women from treading the boards as thespians. Yes, “thespians.” Look it up if you must!

I can just hear people discussing the latest play,

“Didst thou see the latest play by Shakespeare?”

“Yes, but it was the same old thing: sex and violence followed by more sex and violence. What, I ask thee, are we to make of the shocking entertainments of modern times, prithee?”

“Methinks it should have an age restriction!”

The popularity of Shakespeare through the centuries caused people to quote him, and today, we spout quotes and idioms from his plays without even realizing their origins. If you ever say any of the following, you’re quoting the bard. Even if you don’t personally use these words, there’s a good chance you know exactly what the mean because they are used so often to this day.

Dead as a Doornail

“Look on me well: I have eat no meat these five days; yet, come thou and thy five men, and if I do not leave you all as dead as a doornail, I pray God I may never eat grass more.” (Henry VI part 2)

That was written in 1592, but the bard was hardly being original. The saying had been around since 1350, if not earlier. Would it have stayed alive without Shakespeare? Probably not!

Method in the Madness

“Though this be madness, yet there is method in it…” (Hamlet)

And by the way, if you use the word “gunk” please give a nod to Shakespeare, who, in the same act, had Hamlet speaking of “eyes full of gunk.”

Out of the Jaws of Death

Unlike “dead as a doornail,” it seems this is completely original. There are no written references to this phrase before Twelfth Night (1602). It certainly caught on, and to this day, we refer to the “jaws of death.” It’s certainly an exciting story, complete with cops, pirates, bigwigs, and cases of mistaken identity. But I won’t spoil it for you…

We Have Seen Better Days

Did I mention Shakespeare also wrote comedies? “As You Like It” was a complete side-splitter back in 1599, and everyone was probably quoting bits of it and giggling like crazy just as we quote our favorite comedians today. Nowadays, saying you’ve seen better days isn’t even thought of as funny. Maybe the joke got stale or we lost the context.

Wild Goose Chase

“Nay, if our wits run the wild-goose chase, I am done, for thou hast more of the wild-goose in one of thy wits than, I am sure, I have in my whole five. Was I with you there for the goose?”

This quote comes from “Romeo and Juliet,” and it probably referred to a horse race of some kind, though how geese got involved in a horse race is beyond me.

Good Riddance

I don’t have to give you the quote in context because that’s all it consisted of. It comes from the play ‘Trolius and Cressida,” and it has been taken up by bands such as Green Day. We use it with reference to unpleasant people of any description as soon as they offer to go away and leave us alone.

Fair Play

“Yes, for a score of kingdoms you should wrangle, and I would call it fair play.” (The Tempest)

Of course, we use this phrase in sport and gambling far more often than we use it in politics these days. Could it be that politics isn’t even expected to play fair? Let’s not even go there. I’m sure it never was.

Lie Low

You know how it is: sometimes lying low is the best solution, and that’s just what Antonio in the play “Much Ado About Nothing” thought.

“If he could right himself with quarreling, some of us would lie low.”

Yes, I know people like that, too.

It Was Greek to Me…

Have you ever said this after a particularly baffling lecture at school? In the play “Julius Caesar,” Casca was equally baffled:

“Nay, an I tell you that, Ill ne’er look you i’ the face again: but those that understood him smiled at one another and shook their heads; but, for mine own part, it was Greek to me.”

I Must Be Cruel to Be Kind

Again, we quote from Shakespeare, and this time, it’s Hamlet:

“So, again, good night. I must be cruel only to be kind. Thus bad begins and worse remains behind.”

I bet you didn’t even know that was an erudite quote. Mind you, as I pointed out before, Shakespeare was considered a bit racy, so you don’t have to feel like too much of a nerd if you quote him habitually.

Apart from popular phrases such as “Be-all and end-all” (Macbeth), “Break the ice” (Taming of the Shrew), “Heart of Gold” (Henry V), “Kill with Kindness” (Taming of the Shrew) and even “Knock, knock. Who’s there?” (Macbeth), we also have Shakespeare to thank for the continued use of certain popular words. “Puke” is just one of them. Who said Shakespeare was highbrow?

A List of Common Shakespeare Quotes and Sayings

All’s Well That Ends Well

“All’s well that ends well.”

As You Like It

“Forever and a day”
“Puking”
“Too much of a good thing”

Cymbeline

“Not slept one wink”

Hamlet

“As pure as the driven snow”
“Brevity is the soul of wit.”
“Conscience does make cowards of us all.”
“Dog will have his day”
“In my heart of hearts”
“In my mind’s eye”
“Neither a borrower nor a lender be.”
“Own flesh and blood”
“Rant”
“There’s method in the madness.”
“There’s the rub.”
“This above all, to thine own self be true.”

Henry IV

“Discretion is the better part of valour.”
“Eaten out of house and home”
“Give the devil his due”
“Ill wind which blows no man to good”
“Send him packing”
“Set my teeth on edge”
“The game is afoot.”

Henry V

“A heart of gold”
“Swagger”

Henry VI

“As dead as a doornail”
“Faint-hearted”
“Fight till the last gasp”
“Mum’s the word”

Henry VIII

“For goodness sake”

Julius Caesar

“A dish fit for the gods”
“Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war.”
“Fight fire with fire.”
“It was Greek to me.”
“Live long day”

King John

“Elbow Room”
“Play fast and loose”

King Lear

“Fie, foh, and fum, I smell the blood of a British man.”
“Full circle”
“More sinned against than sinning”

Love’s Labour’s Lost

“Obscene”
“Naked truth”
“Zany”

Macbeth

“All our yesterdays”
“Assassination”
“Come what come may”
“Crack of doom”
“Double, double toil and trouble, fire burn, and cauldron bubble.”
“Knock knock, who’s there?”
“Milk of human kindness”
“One fell swoop”
“The be all and the end all”

The Merchant of Venice

“All that glitters is not gold.”
“In the twinkling of an eye”
“Love is blind.”
“Own flesh and blood”
“Pound of flesh”
“Truth will out”
“With bated breath”

The Merry Wives of Windsor

“As good luck would have it”
“Laughing stock”
“The world’s mine oyster”
“What the dickens”

A Midsummer Night’s Dream

“Fancy-free”
“Swagger”
“The course of true love never did run smooth.”

Much Ado About Nothing

“As merry as the day is long”
“Lie low”

Othello

“Addiction”
“Foregone conclusion”
“Jealousy is the green-eyed monster.”
“Neither here nor there”
“Vanish into thin air”
“Wear your heart on your sleeve.”

Richard II

“Spotless reputation”

Romeo and Juliet

“Star-crossed lovers”
“Wild goose chase”

The Taming of the Shrew

“All of a sudden”
“Bedazzled”
“Break the ice”
“Cold comfort”
“Kill with kindness”
“Refuse to budge an inch.”

The Tempest

“Brave new world”
“In a pickle”
“Melted into thin air”
“Such stuff as dreams are made on”

Titus Andronicus

“Devil Incarnate”

Troilus and Cressida

“Fashionable”
“Good riddance”

Twelfth Night

“If music be the food of love, play on.”
“In stitches”
“Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon ’em.”

The Winter’s Tale

“Set your teeth on edge”

Effect vs Affect: Tricks to Remember the Difference

This may not be the most important blog post you’ll ever read in your life, but it can teach you a lesson a lot of other people don’t seem to have grasped, and prevent you from looking unprofessional when writing to or for people who do actually know the difference between effect and affect.

I’m actually quite forgiving about the confusion between these similar-sounding but completely different words. I’m willing to accept perfectly intelligent people are capable of little language vices, but not everyone has my forbearance, and your teachers (and maybe your bosses) are likely to pick up your mistake if you confuse these two words. It just makes you look a bit less intelligent than you really are when you mix them up. So let’s see how you can put your best foot forward by getting it right every time.

Are You Affected by the Law of Cause and Effect?

This little subheading is a dead giveaway and might even be enough to effectively teach this lesson. Here are a few more examples for you:

The effects of hard drugs affect a person’s ability to succeed.
The storm had a negative effect on businesses and farms in the areas that were affected by the heavy rain.
He was powerfully affected by the special effects because he thought they were real.
What is the effect of the changes in the writing job market, and how will they affect you?

As we can see, both words refer to the consequence of an action or event, but one, “affect” is always a verb, while “effect” is usually a noun. Sometimes, it can be a verb, but it is seldom used in this way. Take a look at these examples:

We will need to change people’s attitudes if we hope to effect change.
I hope to effect an upgrade in my standard of living.

In these examples, “effect” is an action that causes a consequence. You can remember the difference between “affect” and “effect” by bearing in mind that to be “affected” by something is the passive result of something else happening, while “effecting” something is an action in itself.

Cheats and Shortcuts

If you find that a bit hard to remember, just use “effect” as a noun. You can test this by putting the word “the” in front of it. If it works, you’re looking at a noun. For instance:

…the effect.
…the negative (or positive) effect.
…the powerful effect.

All of these come from our examples, and we can see that they make some kind of sense, but now try putting “the” where “affect” is the correct word.

… hard drugs the affect a person’s…
… that were the affected by the heavy rain.
.. he was the affected by…

It doesn’t make sense, does it? That’s because “affect” is never a noun.

Do you need another trick to help you remember which word is a noun and which one is a verb? Try this simple method to jog your memory.

Use any word ending in “aven” to help you remember. I can only think of three:

Haven
Raven
Maven

Choose whichever you prefer. Here’s what it will help you remember:

A = affect

V = verb

E = effect

N = noun

Since “effect” is so seldom used as a verb, this little trick should see you through 99% of the time. For the 1% of the time that “effect” is a verb, remembering the active role it plays will answer the question.

Another way of remembering it is to remember that “a” comes first in the alphabet. You have to have an action (verb) before you have a reaction, so “a” will be a verb.

A Couple of Other Uses for “Affect”

Just to round things off, we’ll look at other contexts for “affect.” It can mean acting in a way you don’t feel or putting on some kind of a show for the benefit of others.

I affected a knowledgeable air as I watched the incomprehensible presentation.
He has false, affected manners that really irritate me.

Fortunately only one of these bucks the system, and then it isn’t working as a noun, but as an adjective. So now you know which of these words is which, and you won’t get caught out again. Go to the top of the class!

How to Write “Intellectual Vitality” Into an Essay

High school students often have a lot of confusion as to what exactly “intellectual vitality” means when they are preparing to write their all-important college application essay. What on earth are they looking for, and how can you show you’ve got it?

Relax! Intellectual vitality is your curiosity about the world and your approach to discovering the answers to questions you have. It doesn’t mean having a genius IQ. As far as your selection board is concerned, it’s not so much a matter of what you’ve got, but how you use it! The key is to show them that you not only have a brain, but you also know how to utilize it. Here are some ways that indicate you have intellectual vitality:

New Ideas Fascinate You

When you come across an interesting new idea, you can’t leave it alone until you know absolutely EVERYTHING there is to know about it. Who dreamed up the idea? How, when, and why did they come up with it? How can it be used, and how well will it work? How does it impact other things?
You’re always thinking about things, analyzing them, looking for links, similarities, differences, and relationships.
You turn things over in your mind and look at them from every angle. No piece of information you process isn’t put through a process of analysis, and you never accept information without first questioning it.

You Always Want to Know The “Why” of Things

After finding out the why, you don’t stop asking questions and seeking new information. If something interests you, you don’t stop until you know a whole lot more, or even everything there is to know about it.
You know why you believe what you believe and do what you do.
You don’t just follow the crowd. You form your own opinions through rational thought, and you look at things from every possible angle. Once you’ve thought things through, you make up your mind and take action.
You don’t mind having your ideas challenged, in fact, you relish it.
You’re not someone who spends listening time thinking about what you’re going to say next. In a debate, you can argue any angle, even if you don’t actually agree with it. You’re always interested in other people’s reasoning, and you’re not afraid to change your mind in the face of evidence.

How Do Your Write All That Into an Essay?

Your college application essay is a chance to talk about yourself. The best way to do that is to tell little stories or anecdotes about yourself to illustrate the kind of person you are, By doing this, you have the opportunity to show this quality in your stories.

It’s important to remember that whatever you decide to write about, be honest. Talk about real-life events and show your intellectual vitality by showing how you applied it. Don’t try to make something up — it will almost always come across as unauthentic.

Here’s an Excerpt That Fits Me

“My grandmother always impressed me by knowing the names of plants. Aged 14, I decided I wanted to know everything there was to know about plants. I soon found it was impossible! Was I deterred? No! It was just what I always wanted, a topic that you could study for years, decades, even lifetimes, and still not know everything. That’s when I decided to study natural sciences.”

“To narrow my field a little, I decided to learn about edible plants, especially edible native plants. I used to horrify friends and family by eating strange berries (after I verified a positive ID, of course) because I wanted to know what they tasted like, how they could be used, and whether there was a reason why they weren’t grown commercially. Often, it was because they either weren’t very nice, or didn’t stay fresh for long.”

Gosh, I’m starting to enjoy this! I could go on…

What About You?

Maybe you used to love taking things apart to see how they worked. Maybe you were even able to put them together again! Perhaps you took on an intellectual challenge (even a fairly simple one) and worked tirelessly till you could be the best at it. Perhaps you identified a common problem and found a novel solution. Maybe you were your school’s debating champion and could argue any side of any debate effectively. Only you will know what events and achievements demonstrate your intellectual vitality.

There are many ways to demonstrate intellectual vitality and include it in your essay. Just remember, the selection board doesn’t want to know how clever you are as much as they want to know how you think.

Show this by identifying times in your life when you solved a problem, discovered something, or became passionate about a field of learning, even if it doesn’t relate to your coursework. It’ll only be difficult to write about if you try to invent something. It’s always easier to tell the truth!

Good luck with your college admission essay. Have fun writing it, and show them what you’re made of by being yourself.

How Many Paragraphs in an Essay?

There is no firm rule that says an essay needs to have a set number of paragraphs, but an essay must be a minimum of three paragraphs. There are a lot of people who say an essay should be five paragraphs, but it’s an extremely limiting rule, and unless you’ve been instructed to write a five paragraph essay, there’s no reason to stick to it.

As a rule, you’ll write your essay in three main parts. First, you’ll introduce your topic to your reader. Next, you will have body text in which you discuss the topic in more detail, and finally, you’ll have a conclusion that tells your reader what you were able to see after looking into the facts or thinking through the topic.

In its simplest form, an essay can consist of three paragraphs with one paragraph being devoted to each section. Proponents of the five paragraph essay say that the body text should consist of three paragraphs, but in reality, it’s fine to write more or fewer paragraphs in this section.

Guessing How Many Paragraphs Before You Begin

This is a rule of thumb, which means it won’t always work quite that way, but it’s handy all the same. In academic work, your paragraphs are likely to be a bit longer than most of the ones you see in this blog post. On average, there are usually 100 to 200 words in a paragraph. So if you’d like a guesstimate, you can assume that a 1,000-word essay will have between five and ten paragraphs.

What Points Do You Have to Cover?

Another, less limiting and more accurate way to work out how many paragraphs you need to cover your topic is to look at the main points you have to cover in the body text. A paragraph contains all the ideas that support or explain a single concept.

When you are planning your essay, you will think of or research the main elements that are needed in the body text. It would be safe to assume you need at least one paragraph for each of these. Of course, if there is a lot of information to cover in order to explore each area, you may need more.

For example, if you are writing an essay on childhood development and exposure to technology, you will want to look into the physical, psychological and cognitive developmental effects of tech on kids. When you research this topic, you will find that there are contrasting points of view and researchers have identified several physical, developmental, and psychological effects of technology use in children.

Assuming five psychological effects have been identified, you can assume you’ll need to write five paragraphs if you are going to write a relatively in-depth essay. But if both those who say technology is bad for kids and those who say it can be good have done a great deal of work on the sub-topic, you might want to make that ten paragraphs so that you can cover both sides of the argument and look into how earlier authors reached their conclusions.

Of course, if you have been set a relatively short word limit, you may not be able to go in-depth at all, in which case a paragraph for each of the main sub-topics (psychology, physical development, and cognitive development) will likely be adequate.

Essay Content Is More Important Than the Number of Paragraphs

Ultimately, your essay will be evaluated on the information you present, not on the number of paragraphs in the essay. Early in your academic life, teachers and lecturers may give you both a structure for your essay and a guideline on how long each part of the essay should be. I have seen essay instructions say how many marks are allocated for each section, and my trick is to take the total word count and allocate a percentage of words to each section based on the percentage of marks you can get for it. After all, if the teacher is allocating 80 marks for content in total and you can see 50% of the mark relates to a certain part of the essay, then 50% of your essay’s words should be devoted to that section.

Sometimes, you’ll just be given a topic and told to air your opinion. This gives you more freedom, but it’s a tad more difficult. The research will show you how many angles you should look at, and it’ll help you to find information that both supports and contradicts your point of view. To make a strong argument, you need to look at both supporting and contradictory information.

To avoid getting tangled up in one aspect of the discussion, you’ll have to decide how long it should be. If it’s the most important aspect informing your conclusion, you can spend a little more time (and words) on that particular point. It could run into several paragraphs rather than just one or two.

Always Remember the Purpose of Paragraphs

Paragraphs structure information into sub-topics, and they make your work easier to read and understand thanks to the structure they provide. With careful advance planning, you’ll be able to work out more or less how many paragraphs you need to complete your essay.

How many paragraphs is…

For those looking for a general rule-of-thumb, below are some estimates on the number of paragraphs there would be in an essay of different lengths based on an average length of 150 words per paragraph. Of course, the number of paragraphs for your essay will depend on many different factors. You can use the following information for a general reference, but don’t take these numbers as literal..

Basic Essay Word to Paragraphs Conversions

A 100 word essay is 3 paragraph. (minimum for an essay)
A 200 word essay is 3 paragraphs. (minimum for an essay)
A 250 word essay is 3 paragraphs. (minimum for an essay)
A 300 word essay is 3 paragraphs. (minimum for an essay)
A 400 word essay is 3 paragraphs. (minimum for an essay)
A 500 word essay is 3 to 4 paragraphs.
A 600 word essay is 4 paragraphs.
A 700 word essay is 4 to 5 paragraphs.
A 750 word essay is 5 paragraphs.
A 800 word essay is 5 to 6 paragraphs.
A 900 word essay is 6 paragraphs.
A 1,000 word essay is 6 to 7 paragraphs.
A 1,250 word essay is 8 to 9 paragraphs.
A 1,500 word essay is 10 paragraphs.
A 1,750 word essay is 11 to 12 paragraphs.
A 2,000 word essay is 13 to 14 paragraphs.
A 2,500 word essay is 16 to 17 paragraphs.
A 3,000 word essay is 20 paragraphs.
A 4,000 word essay is 26 to 27 paragraphs.
A 5,000 word essay is 33 to 34 paragraphs.
A 6,000 word essay is 40 paragraphs.
A 7,000 word essay is 46 to 37 paragraphs.
A 7,500 word essay is 50 paragraphs.
A 8,000 word essay is 53 to 54 paragraphs.
A 9,000 word essay is 60 paragraphs.
A 10,000 word essay is 66 to 67 paragraphs.

Should You Use a Pseudonym When Writing?

A lot of famous writers have published their work using pseudonyms or pen names, and the reasons they give for doing so are many. Back in the days when women weren’t considered bright enough to be serious thinkers and writers, many female authors wrote under male pseudonyms so their work would be taken more seriously. Fortunately, those days are gone, but there are still many reasons to use a pseudonym.

You’re Writing on a Controversial Topic

Some topics are extremely decisive and can cause a lot of anger from those with an opposing viewpoint. You may not want to start receiving the hate mail that comes with advocating certain views, so you may decide to generate a pen-name. For example, if you were to write in favor of atheism or are pro-choice, you might think it wise to keep your own name out of the equation to avoid being ostracized by friends or family members who don’t share your views. There are those who say this is a bad reason to use a pseudonym, but I can understand the reason why some people would make this choice.

You Write in a Variety of Genres

People often buy books by authors they like because they think they know what to expect from them. As a result, authors sometimes use pseudonyms when they depart from a genre in which they are well-known. J.K. Rowling, famous for the Harry Potter series, wrote a detective story under the name Robert Galbraith for this reason. It’s definitely not a children’s book, so she obviously felt she should use a different name so people wouldn’t buy her book with expectations based on her earlier work.

You Have the Same Name as a Famous Author

If your name is Stephen King, it wouldn’t really be fair to raise expectations by publishing your work using your own name. Besides, you want to become famous as an author in your own right, so you may choose another name to distinguish yourself from another author.

You Don’t Like Your Name

Some surnames are rather giggle-worthy, and sometimes well-intentioned parents saddle their kids with weird first names. Admittedly, if your work is good enough, you should be able to overcome this handicap, but if you think your name is so strange that people won’t take your work seriously, you might consider choosing another.

Your Name Is Too Long or Hard to Pronounce

You wouldn’t want your name to occupy the entire book cover, so you follow the example of Dennis Max Cornelius Woodruffe-Peacock and choose an abbreviated form of your name. In this example, the author went of the much simpler “Max Peacock.” The same thing is true if your last name has less than the standard amount of vowels and you don’t want to hear it being mangled by readers who can’t properly pronounce it.

You Have a Common Name

If your name happens to be John Smith or Mary Jones, you might decide you’d like something a trifle more distinctive. Once again, your writing will be the deciding factor behind your success or failure, but it’s understandable you might feel you need a name that sounds just a little bit more exciting.

You Want to Separate Your Day Job From Your Writing

Writers are often secretive about what they’re up to, and not all employers will be enchanted if someone in a very serious line of work were to produce a racy novel. It doesn’t suit their corporate image, and you may find yourself in an awkward position in your day job as a result of your writing activities. Other employers may simply feel your heart isn’t in your job because your “real” interest is writing. It isn’t really fair, but it does happen.

You Have Higher Writing Ambitions

Some publishing houses produce endless streams of formula-fiction, and of course, they need writers to make the stories varied enough to keep their readership interested. Romance series are a good example. There’s no formula that actually says what has to happen on each page, but the stories tend to be similar. Readers know what to expect. Nobody expects great literature. They just want their romantic story with erotic moments, a bit of conflict, and a happy ending. If you’re still hoping to write a serious novel, you might want to hide your pulp fiction persona behind a pseudonym.

Your Publishers Will Know Your Real Name

Whatever your reason for choosing to write using a pseudonym, you have to remember anonymity can only go so far. You need to cover the legal side of things, signing contracts and protecting copyrights; and of course, you do want to be paid. You will have to give your real name, but you can add “writing as” in front of your pseudonym to indicate your public persona will be represented by a different name.

How to Write a Great Anecdote

Before we start talking about how to write an anecdote, you may be wondering, “What is an anecdote?” Basically, it’s a short story about something that happened to you, someone you know, or know of. If you and your friends are chatting about a person, and you remember something they did, then tell the story as part of the conversation, you have used an anecdote.

Why Use Anecdotes?

Anecdotes are used to give a personal perspective, illustrate a point, make people think about something, or make them laugh. One of the places where you might find anecdote writing useful is when writing a college application essay. Perhaps something that happened in your life inspired you to study in a certain direction, and you’d like to share the story to show why you are highly motivated to do well.

Non-fiction, informal essays can also be livened up with anecdotes that show how the information you’re sharing works in practice, and why people need to know about or think about the topic. For example, when I write about gender discrimination in the workplace, I always remember to point out that women can also be guilty of this.

A female boss I worked under years ago didn’t like hiring young women, “They’re just going to get married and move away or have babies, and then we have to give them maternity leave,” she would say. This illustrates that women are sometimes also guilty of gender discrimination.

You can also use anecdotes to amuse or entertain. Not all anecdotes are serious! If something really funny happens to you today, you’ll tell your friends, won’t you? That’s an anecdote! Here’s one of my favorites:

My brother used to have an absolute obsession with answering the phone in time. He would get quite agitated if it stopped ringing before anyone picked up. One day, the phone started ringing while he was in the bathroom. He called out in a panicky voice, “Ring the phone! It’s answering!” The phone didn’t get answered. I was laughing much too hard for that!

How to Write an Anecdote

First, be sure the anecdote you have in mind is relevant to the context. If you are writing about dogs, for example, an anecdote about a cat is irrelevant. Ask yourself, “Why do I want to use this anecdote? What point does it illustrate?”

Next, consider these questions:

Who was involved in the story?
What happened?
When did it happen? Is this relevant?
Where did it happen? Is this relevant?

Because an anecdote is a mini-story, you structure it in the same way that you would structure a longer piece. You introduce the story, you say what happened, and you either draw a conclusion or ask a question so your reader can reach his or her own conclusion.

The main point you’re trying to get across is your “punchline” (whether it’s funny or serious), so save it for last. The first thing to mention is the person or group of people directly involved in the story. In my anecdote about a sexist female boss, I introduce her, but not the other people on the recruitment panel. They are not relevant to the story itself, so we leave them out.

We also don’t bother to mention the weather, the color of the boardroom furniture, and so on. These facts don’t contribute to the story. If they did, we could add them. Always remember you’re illustrating a point, and anything that doesn’t form part of that point will be a distraction.

Once you have introduced your players and have provided any necessary context to set the stage, you can move on to explaining what happened. Begin at the beginning and write the events chronologically. It’s possible to tell your anecdote differently, but this is the easiest way to keep it coherent and easy to understand. Lastly, state your conclusion, or ask your readers to draw their own conclusion.

The Differences Between Anecdotes and Stories

Anecdotes are short. At most, they will consist of a paragraph, or maybe two paragraphs. Stories are longer. When we write stories, we can include a lot more detail, and we will spend more effort on drawing the reader into the scene so that they feel part of it.

Can an Anecdote Be a Single Sentence? Yes, It Can

“My cat always cuddles me in the morning.”
“George is so polite, he always shakes hands instead of just greeting me.”
“When I was a student, I worked in a bookshop after classes.”

Admittedly, these aren’t great anecdotes, but they are anecdotes nonetheless.

How to Write a Great Anecdote

Choose a relevant event that happened to you or someone else (even a famous figure).
Is your story interesting, amusing, inspiring or thought-provoking? Try to aim for at least one of these.
Structure your ideas.
Tell your story briefly.
Draw a conclusion.

Does anyone out there have an anecdote about anecdotes? Do tell!

10 Reasons to Write a Hand Written Letter to Someone Today

Say what? Isn’t this the computer age? Can’t I just send an email? Well, you can if you want to, but there’s something special about handwritten letters. Let’s try and pin down the reasons why a stamped, addressed, handwritten letter means so much to a recipient.

It Shows You Care

Which would you rather receive, a love letter, or a love email? I’m betting the letter gets your vote. Why? Because someone took the time to write it with a pen on paper instead of just hammering away at their keyboard. A handwritten letter says, “I love you enough to take the time to send my message the hard way.”

You Can Enclose Fun Items or Get Creative in the Margins

I love writing to my niece, and she loves getting my letters. Why? Because I draw funny stick men in the margins and enclose little tokens like a piece of pretty ribbon or a pressed flower. I haven’t ever managed to do that with email.

You Take More Time Over It

Write, write, write, hit “send,” add three PS notes because there were things you forgot to mention. Spot three typos you really should have noticed earlier. Does that sound familiar? You just wouldn’t do that with a handwritten letter. You’d draft it first, then finalize it. It’s carefully thought through, and if you need a PS at all, it’s only going to be the one.

It Makes You Happy

No kidding. I’ve often felt the satisfaction of dropping an envelope into a postbox. It feels good. research also says people feel that way about sending a handwritten letter. I should have guessed that, shouldn’t I?

It Makes Other People Happy

What’s in your mailbox? Mine consists of bills, bills and more bills, a few junk mail items, and the occasional magazine I’ve subscribed to. When I see an envelope that’s been addressed by hand, I get excited! And if it’s a letter from a friend (rather than my insurance broker who is notoriously anti-tech), I’m smiling from ear to ear.

It Lets You Practice Your Handwriting

Just about all the written work we do these days involves a computer of some kind. Desktops, laptops, tablets, clickety click and the job is done. Have you ever picked up a pen and felt clumsy? It’s as if we don’t get enough practice writing with pen and paper and find ourselves confounded when confronted with the need to write by hand. So write a letter to a friend; you’ll be glad you did.

It’s the Best Way to Tell Granny You Love Her

So your granny knows how to text, and boy, she loves it! Even so, she’ll love a handwritten letter so much more than your hasty WhatsApp message. It takes her back to the days when that’s how family members stayed in touch. It brings back memories of letters written and letters received.

It’s More Personal

Do you have a signature font? What’s the bet that thousands upon thousands of people use the exact same font? But your handwriting is like a fingerprint. It’s absolutely unique and completely personal. Just make sure it’s legible!

It Boosts Your Literary Reputation

There are entire anthologies composed of the letters that famous people have written. Some of them wrote thousands of letter over their lifetime. Even if you have no ambitions towards fame, writing an old-fashioned letter is a fine tradition that will make others sit up and take note.

You Get Letters in Return

Don’t you love getting proper letters? Give and you will receive! It’s almost unheard-of to respond to a letter with an email! And if your friend or loved one does that, you’re fully entitled to inform them that a proper letter will be welcomed.

I can think of an 11th reason to write a letter. Letters can’t be deleted. True, they can be trashed, but think of this: I have a letter dating back from the Second World War. It was written by my great uncle and it was addressed to my grandmother. How I treasure that letter, even though both of these people are long dead. If that had been an email, guess what would have happened to it? Yes, letters are far more likely to be valued, kept and treasured, even when it’s been nearly 100 years since they were written. So write a letter today, it may act as a connection with the future as well as the past.

Never Rely Solely on Spell Check

Isn’t spell check convenient? If it doesn’t like the word you used, it points it out to you, and in a couple of clicks, it’s all fixed up. But just how much can we trust spell checkers? Speaking from experience, not very much! Sure, it’s handy when you’ve just made a little typo, but it has fatal drawbacks that can see you submitting work with confidence only for it to be ripped apart by your reader or teacher. Here are 10 reasons why careful proofreading is the only solution if you want to submit correct work.

It Won’t Identify Homophones

There are pairs of words that mean different things and are spelled differently, but don’t mean the same thing. Here are a few examples:

There and their: A lot of people struggle with this one!
They’re and there: Brits are particularly prone to confuse these two!
Air and heir: Well, they sound the same, don’t they?
Die and dye: I saw a hair salon in Sweden called “Curl up and Dye,” cute as a play on words, but not as an error.
Effect and affect: Confusing these words is one of the most common errors among English speakers. Get it right!

It Won’t Identify Misspelled Words That Are Real Words

I have a lot of fun collecting these words. They can be hilarious or simply embarrassing. For example:

Pubic and public: Are you ready for pubic humiliation?
From and form: Oops! Your fingers were too hasty there! Spell check thinks its fine, though.
Best and beast: The beast doctor in town… Could it be a veterinarian? Or is it something more sinister?
Retards and regards: I had this one from a friend of mine. It’s probably not the best way to sign off a business letter.
Human resources and inhuman resources: There was meant to be a space in the second example.
Singing and sinning. Of course, you could possibly sing while you sin, but it would be unusual.

Your Grammar Could Be Awful

Although spell check will occasionally pick up grammatical errors, it generally doesn’t, and some of the things it thinks are wrong are actually right. For example, Microsoft Word doesn’t like “your” in the sentence to follow. It suggests “you’re, but it is mistaken:

“You’re incomplete or tangled sentences get the green light from spell check, but later on, they make you cringe with embarrassment. If only you’d done a more careful proofread instead of trusting spell check!”

“You’re,” oh dear! That’s a blooper from spell check right there!

Editing Helps You Learn Your Errors

I so often type “form” instead of “from,” that I know I need to check my work carefully when this word is involved. It’s all too easy for one’s eyes to slide right over that error. After all, the letters are all there, they’re just not in the right place. Now that I know I often tangle my fingers over the word, I know I have to check it carefully.

You Begin to Depend on It

Right clicking for spelling suggestions when you’re stumped as to why the word keeps coming up as being misspelled makes you super-lazy. Always try to correct words without spell check’s help to begin with, and if you still can’t get it right, see what spell check suggests. I keep a list of words I struggle to spell so that I can learn from it. It really has helped me to improve my spelling!

You Won’t Be Able to Write Quickly When You Need To

Pictures this: you’re in a skype interview with someone you hope to impress. You can’t wander off to check your spelling every few seconds as you quickly type. Bam! Bam! Bam! The person on the other end wants a quick response. Make too many spelling errors, and you end up looking like a hopeless incompetent. Impressive? Hardly!

It Doesn’t Know Your Terminology

Terminology lurks in every field, and accepted spellings don’t always agree with spell check. For example, most people these days refer to “startups” but Microsoft’s spell checker has only recently caught on to the term. A few months ago, it suggested “start-ups” as the right spelling. Medical terminology and other scientific jargon often doesn’t feature, and pitfalls lurk behind every terminology-laden sentence.

It Has No Idea What You Really Mean

Writing conveys meaning, but spell check has no notion of meaning. You can say “infection” instead of “affection” and have your writing end up looking kind of scary. Or you can emulate my friend and sign off your covering letter with a cheery “Kind retards.” Only you can know what you actually meant, so don’t trust your software too much.

It Doesn’t Always Spot Words Accidentally Split With a Space

As long as both words are real words on their own, spell check acts dumb. Why? Because it’s rather dumb! Check these words out:

All ways versus always
Some times versus sometimes
In stead versus instead
Never the less instead of nevertheless
Sun day versus Sunday

You’re Smarter Than Spell Check!

No software can ever replace the human mind. I’ve tried grammar checkers, spell checkers, and style checkers, and they are all only tools that can be used wisely in the hands of an informed human being. Just as no machine can write properly for you, spell checkers and grammar checkers will always be less intelligent than your own proofreading.

Is “Couth” a Word?

Language is dynamic, and today’s slang becomes tomorrow’s accepted dictionary word. To answer the question, “Is ‘couth’ is a word?” we’ll have to go on a journey through time and the English language. Buckle your safety belt; it’s going to be an interesting ride. For those looking for a general answer, “couth” is becoming recognized as a real word as it appears in more and more dictionaries, but it isn’t universally accepted as a word at this time.

Couth in the Beginning

Long, long ago, the word “couth” was used to describe a person or group of people who was familiar. The opposite of that word, “uncouth” was used to describe a foreign or unknown person, usually with habits that were unfamiliar to the couth. Now, most of us aren’t comfortable with foreign habits and mores, and the meaning of the word “uncouth” began to morph into a term for those with bad manners. Meanwhile “couth” gradually fell out of common usage, became archaic, and was forgotten altogether.

Uncouth and a Joke

By the time people got around to writing full English dictionaries, only one word remained, “uncouth.” Now usually, a word featuring an “un” is attached to another word, and the prefix makes it mean the opposite thing, but “uncouth” was a peculiar anomaly because “couth” wasn’t an accepted word at all, at least, not in modern parlance.

It seems most likely that introducing “couth” as a word describing someone with good manners, initially started out as a joke. “Haven’t you got no couth?” someone would ask before dissolving into gales of laughter at their own wit. It could even be that people looking for an impressive-sounding word for “good manners” decided that “couth” was the logical opposite of “uncouth.” If they did, people would have laughed at their ignorance because they were all too palpably wrong.

Couth Becomes More Real

Here’s the funny thing. Whether as a joke or not, the word “couth” began to be used more and more in its new context. It still wasn’t completely accepted, but it was a word people used, and words people use become part of the language. It’s the natural order of things. The average English speaker from a few hundred years ago probably wouldn’t understand half of what we say, while we would certainly struggle to understand him. That’s because words and word usages keep changing all the time.

Not all that long ago, you wouldn’t have found the word “couth” in any dictionary, but today, you’ll find it in quite a few. Some will note it has a “humorous” origin, while others appear to take it perfectly seriously. But there are still dictionaries that don’t contain the word at all and don’t accept it as a proper English word. Who is right?

So, Is Couth a Real Word?

“Couth” is becoming more accepted as an English word, but it isn’t universally accepted at this time. It is by no means the only English word to be formed from a mistaken assumption. A source I looked at pointed out that “burgle” was only coined in the 19th century on the assumption that “burgling” is what a burglar does. Today, it’s 100% acceptable as a word, but I think we need to be a bit cautious with our couth. It’s still a little bit on the new side of acceptable.

Will Couth Become a Real Word?

We don’t know. It may fall into disuse and join its predecessor form of “couth” in the archives of little known and seldom remembered language, or it might stick, and become a perfectly serious word that is much quicker and easier to type or say than “well-mannered.” Who will decide? The popular vote of course. How do we vote for a word? By using it when we speak and write. For now, I would recommend using “couth” in its humorous context only and not including it in any formal essays or reports, at least for the present. After all, you wouldn’t want to end up in a heated argument with a teacher who subscribes to the idea that “couth” just doesn’t cut it as a word, and that it was uncouth, or at least ignorant, of you to include it in your essay.