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What Are Proverbs?

Proverbs are commonly used expressions that illustrate a specific point. They differ from idioms because idioms don’t always make literal sense, but if you have a context, you can usually work out what a proverb means. Here are a few examples of idioms:

I passed the exam by the skin of my teeth.
I’m fed up with waiting for him!
He always rubs me up the wrong way.

If we were to look at these literally, they’re just nonsensical. Since they are often used, however, most people will know what they mean even though they don’t have any skin on their teeth, haven’t been fed lately, and didn’t get a massage from a clumsy person.

Proverbs, on the other hand, do make a weird sort of sense, especially when you have the context of the situation.

My mom was always against beatings, but my father would say: “Spare the rod and spoil the child.”
You really made a fool of yourself, but there’s no use crying over spilled milk.
Don’t just invest in that business because it sounds nice. Check out their financials; you need to look before you leap.
I searched and searched through my overstuffed closet, but finding my best tie was like trying to find a needle in a haystack.
After he was rude to me, I wanted to hit him, but two wrongs don’t make a right.

In our first example, the fictional father is taking words straight out of the book of Proverbs in the bible. You can see that the discussion is about beatings or corporeal punishment. You might use a rod to beat someone, and if a child is spoiled through lack of discipline, he or she will always insist on getting their own way. Whether you agree with beating naughty kids or not, you can see what the proverb means.

Our other examples are non-biblical, but they are so old, and so well used, that finding their origins would be difficult.

“Crying over spilled milk” means regretting something that has already happened and can’t be undone. “Looking before you leap” means getting all the facts before you commit yourself. And although the guy who can’t find his best tie isn’t literally “looking for a needle in a haystack,” we can see that he thinks the task is as difficult. The last little bit of wisdom, “two wrongs don’t make a right,” is really easy to understand. If I were to hit someone because they were rude to me, I might have a reason for my action, but it still wouldn’t be right.

You can get whole dictionaries full of proverbs, but some are more commonly used than others. Here are a few examples with their meanings:

I wasn’t sure how to behave in the high-class gathering, so I thought: “When in Rome, do as the Romans do,” and just followed their example.

This proverb means behaving as everybody else does, and some people even abbreviate it to “When in Rome…” because it’s so commonly used.

I was going to argue with the shop manager after he treated me so badly, but the pen is mightier than the sword, so I wrote a bad review on Yelp instead.

Written arguments are often stronger than spoken ones, or even using violence.

You really ought to ask for help from others. After all, no man is an island.

An island is all alone, surrounded by water, but people are surrounded by other people, and we can influence or help each other.

How can you call others lazy when you are so lazy yourself? People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.

Don’t always point out your own faults in others. You have the same faults, and if someone were to mention them, you would have no defense.

I’ve been waiting for this letter for weeks! Still, better late than never!

Something that should have happened earlier took a long time, but at least it happened eventually.

You and I have a lot in common. Let’s be friends! Birds of a feather flock together.

People who are similar to each other often get along very well. They hang out with each other in the same way that birds of the same species often like to congregate.

I could write a book about my holiday, but instead, I think this photo explains it all. A picture paints a thousand words.

Sometimes, pictures are even more expressive than any words that could be said. You can get the whole idea just by looking at it, instead of having to read a lot of text.

When they released the new PlayStation, I was waiting outside the shop before it opened. The early bird catches the worm.

If you’re quick to go in search of what you want, your chances of success are greater. But was the worm also early? Perhaps he was just coming back from last night’s party.

Proverbs can be very cliched because they are used a lot, but they do come in handy at times when you’re looking for a good way to say something and want a phrase that everyone will identify with because it reflects accepted wisdom.

(Photo courtesy of James Lumb)

How to Identify Passive Voice

Before we show how to identify passive voice, let’s dispel a few myths that make yours truly turn into a hairy, clawed monster every time they’re repeated. I’m willing to sacrifice the monster coming out so you can rid yourself of these passive voice falsehoods.

Passive Voice Is Incorrect

This is the worst one, and the thought that many believe this is already turning me into a werewolf. No, no, no, and absolutely no! Using passive voice is not wrong. There are even times when it’s absolutely necessary.

When You See a Form Of “To Be,” It’s Passive Voice

Not necessarily – “to be” is sometimes, but not always, passive voice.

Grammar Checkers Find Passive Voice

No, they can’t. Grammar checkers are dicey. They can help, but they can also be a real pain in parts of the anatomy I will not mention here. The fact is, they’re quite capable of missing passive voice, and they’re quite capable of missing real grammatical errors, or identifying correct sentences as being incorrect. There are no short cuts. It’s important to actually learn your grammar.

What’s Passive Voice?

Passive reverses the position of the subject (the doer) and the object (the thing that is acted on). Confused? An example makes it clearer.

“The paper was passed by the professor.” That’s passive voice.
“The professor passed the paper.” That’s active voice.

In the second sentence, you have a normal structure of a subject (professor) doing something active (passing) to an object (paper). The first sentence makes the paper into the subject and does not emphasize the verb or who committed the act.

How do we know which is which? In passive voice, the doer comes after the thing that was done. Also, you can look for forms of “to be” followed by a past participle. In our example, “was” is a form of “to be” and the past participle is “passed.”

Forms of “to be” are: was, is, am, are, have been, has, will be, being, and will have been.

Am I contradicting my statement that “to be” (and its forms) does not always indicate passive voice? No. the past participle is the key. Look at this. “I know how it feels to be a werewolf.”

That’s active voice. There is no past participle. The subject, “I,” comes first. “I know how it feels to be confused,” is also active voice because the subject “I” comes before the thing that happened. Further, “confused” is an adjective that describes a feeling or state.

Is There an Easy Way to Identify Passive Voice?

Yes, and it’s really simple. To identify passive voice, look at what happened and look at who was responsible for doing it. If the person or thing responsible for doing the actions is either omitted or occurs in the sentence AFTER the thing that happened, AND if you see a past participle straight after the form of “to be,” it’s passive voice.

“Poland was invaded.” Passive voice – the doer is absent.
“Poland was invaded by Germany.” That’s passive voice. The doer comes after the thing that was done.
“Germany invaded Poland.” That’s active voice. The doer comes first.

Why Do People Believe Passive Voice Is Bad?

Although the passive voice is perfectly correct and sometimes even preferable, it may be a trifle vague – especially when doers are omitted. So looking at our World War 2 example, Poland was invaded. Who did it? The second passive voice example gives all the facts, but the third example is the most lucid and concise. It uses three words whereas the second passive voice version needs five. Active voice sentences are often shorter, clearer and easier to understand.

When Is the Passive Voice the Best Way to Say Things?

Passive voice is preferable when:

Nobody knows who was responsible: “A fire was started.”
Nobody cares who was responsible: “Shrubs were planted.”
You don’t know, you don’t care, but you know it happened, so you’re being deliberately vague: “The law was passed in 1935.”
What you’re saying is always true regardless of who or what does it: “Rules were made to be broken.”
The thing that was acted on is more important than what caused it to happen: “The road was built in 100 AD.”
You are writing in a genre that generally requires the passive voice. This often applies to scientific papers, usually in the “materials and methods” section: “100 plants were subjected to CO2 enrichment.”

When you use the passive voice, be sure that it’s the best way to say what you want to say. Beware of omitting important facts since passive voice allows you to do so without a grammatical error. Also, beware of turning an easy statement into an awkward one by making it longer and more complicated than it needs to be.

Is It Better to Write or Type a Letter?

As you may have noticed, I love “it depends” questions because then we can look at a question from every possible angle. Quite a lot of what’s about to follow is personal opinion, so feel free to join the debate if you don’t agree. After all, it just makes it all the more interesting for everyone. The choice between writing a letter and typing a letter is influenced by the reason for writing, so we’ll look at business letters and friendly letters and argue the pros and cons of writing or typing under these categories.

Write or Type Business Letters

If you want to be taken seriously in this day and age, you would certainly choose to type rather than write when sending a business letter. The only part of a business letter you should write by hand is the signature. Here are some of the reasons it’s appropriate to type rather than write a business letter.

Your handwriting may not be all that easy to read.
You can’t as easily make changes to a handwritten business letter, so even if you draft it several times, you may not express yourself as well when you write by hand.
A typed letter looks neater and more professional, no matter how neat your handwriting is.
If your keyboard skills are up to scratch, typing is a lot faster than writing.
Spell check can save you from embarrassment. Yes! I spelled “embarrassment” correctly the first time! Can you?

In the business world, handwritten letters are extremely rare, but there is one place other than the signature where I feel handwriting offers a special touch. If you’re thanking someone with a brief note, the kind that gets written on ‘compliments slips’ or greeting cards, then I think writing by hand is more personal.

Write or Type Personal Letters

There’s still something lovely about getting a letter via “snail mail.” Should you write it or type it? I doubt whether anyone would be offended by a typed letter, and it has the advantages of being easier to write, easier to edit, and easier to read.

Still, a handwritten letter is a labor of love and provided it’s legible and well thought out. I think most people would acknowledge that you went to extra effort on their behalf with a handwritten personal letter. What’s more, any errors that sneak in will be forgiven because you’re presumably writing to someone who is close to you. They like you, even love you, and it’s probably not for your skill at spelling.

Before you decide to give a personal letter a special touch by writing it with old-fashioned pen and paper, know what you’re letting yourself in for.

You need to plan ahead by creating a rough framework so that your thoughts flow logically.
You’ll have to write at least two versions and possibly more.
You need to be able to write neatly so that it’s easily readable.
You need the right equipment.

Choose attractive note paper, and if you struggle to keep your lines straight on paper without lines, choose paper with ruled lines. Another option is to use slightly transparent paper that will let you see a sheet with ruled lines when you place it beneath the page you are working with. Choose a pen with ink that won’t easily smudge, and pick a dark colored ink. Gold may look pretty, but it isn’t easy to read a full letter written in gold pen. Black ink is best.

Additional Advantages of Typed Personal Letters

One thing you should remember about handwritten letters is that you’ll get less text on each page. If you have a lot to say in your letter, typing is probably a better solution. You don’t want to end up trying to cram a ten-page missive into an envelope.

If you’re planning to write to several people, you can “cheat” just a little bit. It’s easy to adapt the introductory and closing paragraphs with personal messages for each recipient while the body text remains the same, or nearly the same, for all the letters you’re going to send.

Last but not least, if your letter gets lost in the post, you’ll have a copy saved on your computer and won’t have to rewrite your letter from scratch.

When’s the Last Time You Sent a Handwritten Letter?

Handwritten letters are quite rare these days. I think that their rarity makes them rather special. If I were to write a love letter, I believe I would choose a handwritten letter. What would you do?

(Photo courtesy of Annie Pilon)

Specially vs Especially: What Is the Difference?

That’s right, this specially compiled article is especially for those who struggle with the difference between the words “specially” and “especially.” But how did this confusion arise to begin with? I suspect the trouble started when people began to use “specially” as an abbreviated form of “especially.” Although some sources say the two words are interchangeable, the really reputable ones say they mean two completely different things and are only interchangeable in certain contexts.

What do these words have in common?

Both of them are adverbs (words that are used to describe a verb). Both of them can mean a thing was done for a particular purpose. For example, “I got this (e)specially for you!”

In this context, those who say either word means the same thing are spot on. However, I would venture to say “specially” would be the more common form in this context.

How do they differ?

The Cambridge Dictionary defines “especially” as meaning “particularly or “above all.” Let’s watch it in action:

“She adores flowers, especially roses.”
“He hates work, especially hard physical labor.”

If you were to replace “especially” with “specially” here, you would have sentences that people can understand, but your word choice would be considered colloquial at best.

Now let’s try the same exercise with “specially.” This word refers to a specific purpose for which something was done, and yes, it’s just like our very first example, where we demonstrated that “especially” and “specially” are interchangeable in certain contexts. Now you can play fast and loose and switch these two words around as you please. But remember, when the word you are looking for means “particularly” or “above all” ONLY “especially” will do.

“The furniture was (e)specially designed for my living room.”
“He bought the reddest rose (e)specially for her.”

Knowing which to use

Think of the word “particularly.” If you can replace the “special/especial” with “particularly,” then only “especially” is absolutely correct. Let’s look at one of our earlier examples:

“She loves flowers, especially roses.”
“She loves flowers, particularly roses.”

Does it work? Yes, it does! So “especially” is the right choice, while “specially” would be incorrect.

You’ll notice that trying to jam “particularly” into a “for a special purpose” meaning doesn’t sit quite as comfortably.

“He bought the reddest rose particularly for her.”

Does it work? Not particularly! Now we know we can use whichever of the two words we prefer. Don’t you love freedom? If you’re in doubt, stick with “especially” since it works in both contexts. You can’t go wrong!

How important is it?

“Not specially.”
“Not especially.”

Which of these is right: the first one, or the second one? If you guessed that the second version is correct, you really do know the difference between these two words already. Congratulations!

Can you be sure?

“Not particularly,” works well in this context, so you can be sure that you are 100% correct.

But returning to our question “How important is it?” what do you think the answer is? I’d say that if you’re using language simply to be understood, it isn’t especially important because people would probably understand you even if you used “specially” in the wrong place. However, in written English, we have to be especially (particularly) careful about word choices, and picking the wrong one would make your teacher, or an especially (particularly) well-informed reader, upset at the wording.

Plural Possessives: Why You Put an Apostrophe After the S

It’s common for people to wonder, “What does it mean to put an apostrophe after an S?” It can get a bit confusing. To get it right, you need to understand what a possessive is.

Possessives are used to show ownership; to show that something belongs to someone. “The president’s official airplane” is one example. The airplane belongs to the president, of course. But there is only one president; after all, you don’t have two presidents of the same country. So, this is a singular possessive made by adding an apostrophe and an “s.”

But with a phrase such as “the thieves’ jewels,” you have a plural noun: thieves. Most of the time, a plural noun will be formed by adding “s” to it. In this case, you also change the spelling but don’t worry about that now. The main issue is the final letter, which is “s.” Houses, cats, clouds, essays, rainbows: these are all plural nouns.

As you can see, the fact that the thieves (illegally) possess the jewels is shown simply by adding an apostrophe after the noun and after the letter “s.” They may not possess these valuables for long unless they’re clever and know how to escape the police, but they do for now. And that’s how you form a plural possessive.

To recap, usually if the noun is singular, the apostrophe will go before the s, but if the noun happens to be plural, the apostrophe will go after the s.

Plural Possessive Examples

The Simpsons’ spaceship (the spaceship belongs to the Simpson family; you make the family name plural to show that you’re referring to all of the family members)
The dogs’ tails (the tails belong to the dogs)
The lakes’ water (the water belongs to the lakes)

You have to be careful with the last example because if you only wish to talk about one lake, you must write: “the lake’s water.” In this case, that’s a singular possessive.

An even bigger problem these days is when people write sentences such as this: “None of the monkey’s looked happy in the zoo.” There is no reason to use an apostrophe to make a possessive here. The sentence is only talking about monkeys in the plural. They do not own anything! However, this is a commonly repeated mistake across the Internet.

Sometimes it’s hard to see how the possessive works. “You owe me three months’ pay immediately!” Oh, I do? Let me check my wallet. And my grammar guide. Why is there an apostrophe after “months?” Because the pay is equal to three months of work. In a sense, the pay belongs to those three months. It’s like saying “three months of pay.” If you can use the word “of” in the sentence, then you probably need an apostrophe.

Irregular Plural Possessives

Now that you think you’ve learned all the rules, you’re in for a surprise. There’s another type of plural possessive: the irregular plural possessive. The children’s work was so poorly done that the teacher fainted and had to go to the hospital. Okay, this might not really happen, but I used to be a teacher, and sometimes I felt like fainting!

The main point is this. “Children” is already plural. You cannot add “s” to the word itself to make it plural. So when you want to show possession, you put the apostrophe first, then the “s.” Here are some more examples.

The women’s babies (“women” is the plural form of “woman”)
The firemen’s trucks (“firemen” is the plural of “fireman”)
The dice’s roll (“dice” always means there is more than one)

These look like singular possessives, but they aren’t.

Compound Plural Possessives

You may have thought we had exhausted all of the plural possessives, but there’s one more rule you need to know. It deals with compound plural possessives. For example, “Sam and Dave” is a compound. There are two parts. So which of the following is correct?

Sam and Dave’s song was number one for six months.
Sam’s and Dave’s song was number one for six months.

The correct one is the first. Why? Because Sam and Dave made or performed the song together. It belongs to both of them. Only one possessive needs to be given. But you need to be careful.

Lucy’s and Gina’s cars are the fastest on my street.
Mick’s and Rod’s views on equal rights are impressive.

In these two examples, you need two possessives, one for each proper noun. Lucy and Gina both have different cars. Mick and Rod have separate views. However, what if Lucy and Gina were mother and daughter, and both of them had the same cars? Then you need to change the sentence to “Lucy and Gina’s cars are the fastest on my street.”

With compound plural possessives, it’s important to remember you have to think a little and decide whether you are talking about two separate people or things, or a single unit with two parts.

The Difference Between Simple and Easy

Is it simple, or is it easy? Let’s put it this way, there are a lot of things that are simple, but aren’t in the least bit easy, and there are other differences too. Let’s start with that first one. You want to write a book. It’s simple, isn’t it? All you need to do is sit down in front of the computer and type. But is that easy?

The day you decide to begin writing, your kids decide to invite all their friends over resulting in a houseful of chaos. The six hours of quiet time you planned for writing never materializes. On the second day, you set aside the time but also come down with a case of writer’s block. The knowledge of what you need to do is simple to understand, but actually doing it isn’t as easy as you imagined.

You decide you’d like to become a rock star. It’s simple. All you have to do is learn to play guitar really well, write a good song, and capture the attention of a powerful person in the music business. Is it easy? Probably not. Learning to play the guitar will take years of practice, you’ve got a tin ear, and as for the song and the high-powered producer, even once you learn to play, neither of those goals is easy.

You want to live forever. It’s simple! All you have to do is avoid dying. Oh dear! That’s impossible! Douglas Adams said that flying is as simple as falling and not hitting the ground. How I wish it was easy to do that! Despite numerous attempts, I still haven’t gotten it right.

Yes, there are a lot of things that are simple but aren’t easy. There are even simple things that are absolutely impossible.

Living the Simple Life vs Living an Easy Life

Easy living and simple living are two different things. Living a simple life means having few material things, doing things the natural way, and avoiding complications like debts. Easy living, on the other hand, is usually associated with having all the luxuries that money can buy! What’s more, the simple life is hard work, but the easy life means avoiding hard work at all costs.

Being Simple and Being Easy

Saying that someone is a bit simple means that they’re actually a little stupid. As for saying someone is easy, there are various interpretations, one of them being that they’re laid-back and relaxed, while the other is far less complimentary, but as you can see, being easy is definitely not the same thing as being simple.

Sometimes Simple Things Really Are Easy

Let’s get serious now. I went and hunted through online dictionaries to get all the possible meanings of these two words. I must say, a lot of the dictionary entries were disappointing because they didn’t have all the possible definitions. I soon found that simply getting a complete dictionary entry, while it should be simple, isn’t easy. Then I had an “Aha” moment and hit the Oxford English Dictionary. What an easy solution – and it was simple too!

Definitions of “Simple”

“Simple” can indeed mean that something is easy. “1 + 1 = 2 is a very simple bit of math.”

Something that is basic or fundamental is also simple. “It’s a simple truth: falling and missing the ground is impossible.”

“Simple” can also be used to show that something isn’t complicated or fancy. “She wore a simple black dress.”

In scholarly language, it could mean that a thing isn’t in a compound form. That applies to math, botany, and English grammar.

As we’ve seen, it could mean that someone is a bit dumb.

And historically, a simple was a medicinal herb.

Definitions of “Easy”

An easy thing is one that is not difficult to do. “It was easy to walk up the hill.”

An easy life is laid back and free of worry. “I want the easy life of someone who inherited a million dollars.”

It could mean that someone is free of awkwardness: “He won them over with his easy charm,” or “Her easy manner made her popular.”

Unfortunately, it can also mean that someone or something is vulnerable. “Women who walk alone at night are easy targets for criminals.”

It can even be an insult. “She has a reputation for being easy.”

Lastly, you can use “easy” as an exclamation: “Easy, Butch! Don’t bark so excitedly!”

Similar, but Not Quite the Same

There are times when “easy” and “simple” are interchangeable, but there are times when they aren’t. It all depends on context. By now, you’re an expert on the differences and similarities between “simple” and “easy.” Wasn’t that simple? It was easy too!

Is Writing an Art?

Who doesn’t want to be considered at least somewhat artistic? It’s not a great way to make money unless you’re among the few that hit the big time, but having an artistic hobby is said to be good for oneself, and we all tend to think creative people are somewhat special. Drawing, painting, sculpting, and music are generally considered to rank highly among the arts, but what about writing? Is writing an art, too?

The Making of an Art

When we think of most types of writing, art isn’t something that immediately comes to mind. An exception may be poetry, which is generally considered quite artistic. But can other forms of writing be an art?

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, art is the use of creativity, skill, and imagination to create something that’s beautiful or emotionally expressive. I contend that this definition needs to be expanded. If you dig a little deeper, you’ll see that the same dictionary says that any skill can be termed an art. Thus you have the art of salesmanship, the art of diplomacy, and even the art of making friends. Anything you’re skillful at can be considered an art, particularly if you exercise a little imagination and creativity in the process.

How to Be an Artistic Writer

Although it’s true that being a writer of legal documents is an art because you have to do some pretty deep thinking and produce watertight work, I doubt whether anyone would consider a lawyer to be an artist in the truest sense of the word. There are also those who practice the art of brevity in their writing, giving you only the bare facts. Although I appreciate this when I want to quickly get to the heart of the matter, it isn’t always appropriate, and it can be a bit boring to read.

“It was a nice day. We went to the restaurant and had a meal. Then we went home.” It’s all rather ho-hum and boring, isn’t it?

“It was a wonderful day with only a few fluffy clouds scudding across a sky so blue it defied description. We chose a charming restaurant with a courtyard shaded by trees and ate magnificent food to the sound of rustling leaves and a gurgling fountain. After lunch, we took the scenic route home along the lakeshore, rattling and bumping along on the untarred surface.”

It probably isn’t worthy of a William Wordsworth, who would no doubt have waxed considerably more poetically, I would bet that most people would find the second piece is more creative and descriptive. You should be able to form mental pictures from the words used: the lovely weather, the pleasant restaurant, and the bumpy ride home are all more clearly drawn in this word-picture.

Try These Tips

Create atmosphere with sensory language. What sights, smells, sensations and sounds would you like your reader to imagine?
Introduce an element of the unexpected. Choose words carefully, and create new words and idioms if inspiration strikes. Find new ways to say ordinary things.
Your first few lines are important. Use them to grab the reader’s attention.
Make understanding what you’re saying simple. Avoid jargon and foreign phrases unless they’re essential in context.
Write quickly. Edit and re-draft slowly and with care.
Be yourself. Trying to emulate a writing style will produce a poor copy of someone else’s work. The more original you are, the better.
Avoid lengthy descriptions.
Break rules. George Orwell’s best advice, given at the end of a list of tips to improve your writing, is you should break any and all rules when appropriate.

Any kind of writing can be an art, but creative thinking is the key. Whether you plan to immerse yourself in writing poetry, believe there’s a novel in you trying to get out, or are simply tackling an essay or a blog post, your creative thinking and skill can combine to turn it into a work of art.

Although creative fiction or poetry writing is generally considered artier than factual writing, I have read wonderfully entertaining and interesting non-fiction articles and books. What made them different? There was definitely an element of creativity in the way the information was presented. They made you want to read on and find out more. Any kind of writing can be considered an art, but real creativity is what turns writing into something special. It’s not what you have that matters, but what you do with it.

(Photo courtesy of Asja Boros)

Wrought versus Wreaked & Wreak versus Reek

There are a lot of people who are going to tell you “wrought” is the wrong word to use in the context of havoc, but I’m here to tell you it isn’t. Read on and be liberated! Together we’ll wreak havoc on the Grammar Nazis! To understand why I’m going against the mainstream opinion, you need to know only one thing: I have a darned good source to back me up.

To begin with, let’s look at some word meanings:

Wreaked: Caused
Wrought: Worked

Now let’s look at some sentences for the sake of context:

“The hurricane has caused havoc in the town”
“The hurricane has wreaked havoc in the town.”
“The hurricane has worked havoc in the town.”
“The hurricane has wrought havoc in the town.”

Guess what? They’re all correct. Of course, if you were using “wrought” under the impression that it was the past tense of “wreak,” you’d be wrong, but intention doesn’t show or matter in this case.

Some may say that “worked havoc” is a trifle odd, but it has also been suggested by many as a rather more modern word that could be used to replace “wreaking” which we seldom do these days.

However, there is one thing that a hurricane never, ever does:

“The hurricane wrecked havoc.”

This would imply that a remarkably tidy hurricane arrived in a crazy town that was in a state of utter chaos, and tidied everything away neatly, thereby depriving the citizens of the havoc they were enjoying so much. Truth be told, I could use a hurricane like that around my house.

Wrought vs Wreaked

I mentioned earlier I had a good source to go against the conventional wisdom of the meaning of these two words. To tell you the truth, I always thought “wrought” and “wreaked” were interchangeable, at least in the context of havoc, but my source is rather better than the encyclopedia I carry around in my own head. My authority is none other than the Oxford English Dictionary, and you don’t get a posher source than that. So next time someone thinks they’re clever and tries to tell you that “wrought” is the wrong word to use with “havoc” or “chaos,” you can tell them they’re Grammar Nazis of the worst kind. That is, they’re the kind that’s altogether adamant about being grammatically wrong, and you can refer them to the Oxford Dictionary to make your point.

Moving on, there is a word that has nothing to do with havoc, but is often mistakenly used as such.

Wreak vs Reek: The very bad smell of havoc

“The air force bombers reeked havoc on our enemies”

Do you think the military has mastered the art of creating the worst ever stink bombs? Or is it possible that our enemies smelled so strongly of havoc that our air force got a whiff of it? I didn’t even know havoc had a smell.

You could say:

“The disgusting odor of the sewers wreaked chaos among residents as they fled the dreadful miasma.”

But you could never say:

“Gosh that wreaks of ammonia!” or “The wreak of the sewers was disgusting!”

Well, I suppose you could write it if you wanted to, but it would be wrong, and everybody who reads it would know it was wrong.

Generally speaking, a bad odor “reeks” and can only “wreak” if it causes something else that is quite unpleasant to happen.

(Photo courtesy of NOAA Photo Library)

What Does ICYMI Mean? And Other Common Text Acronyms to Make You Crazy

I’m not a lover of text acronyms. Here’s a true story. When I first began to use e-mail, people kept typing “LOL” in their responses. One day, I asked one of them what LOL actually meant, and they got back with “Laughs out loud!” I must have been feeling a bit grouchy that day because I responded: “No need to be sarcastic, pal, just TELL me!”

I kid you not. Since then, I have developed my own range of obscure text acronyms as a secret form of revenge. Try these if you like. Unless people have been writing to me, they will surely be baffled:

CHKL = chuckle
GGL = giggle
GFW = guffaw
TTR = titter
SNRT = snort

But we’re not here to discuss my off-the-wall, obscure text acronyms. Instead, we’ll talk about the other kind – the ones people use a whole lot.

AAAAA = American Association against Acronym Abuse. I’m joining! Where do I sign up?
B2B = business to business. There are various permutations: B2C (consumer), B2A (anyone), B2G (government)… you get the picture.
BF = best friend or boyfriend. Guys, be careful with this one unless you actually do have a boyfriend. If you do, that’s just fine. If you don’t… well, just saying.
BFF = best friends forever. Someone, please bring me a barf bag.
BRB = be right back. I’m always tempted to tell people who use this not to break wind in my presence without at least excusing themselves.
BTW = by the way. Sigh. Guilty. I use it. I hate myself, but I still use it.
FOMO = fear of missing out. And sadly, that’s why I try to keep up with these things. I seriously don’t want another “lol” incident!
FWIW = for what it’s worth. A lot like IMHO, see below.
FYI = for your information. Alternative interpretation: “waste of time, ignore it.”
GIGO = garbage in, garbage out. I think it may predate text speak, but I prefer the long form. Call me old-fashioned and see if I care.
ICYMI = in case you missed it. Yes. I missed it. If you had written that out in full, I wouldn’t have.
ILY = I love you. Please slap anyone who can’t be bothered to use the full form. Really!
IMO = in my opinion. At least it doesn’t even pretend to be humble.
IMHO = in my humble opinion, and believe me, it’s never humble. People who say “IMHO” are just plain opinionated.
IRL = in real life. You can just tell someone is going to say something annoyingly patronizing when they use that one.
MSG = message. I always thought it stood for “monosodium glutamate.” See how ignorant I am?
NP = no problem. Again, it’s infectious. The proper response would be LTT (Learn to type – another of my creations), but I’m afraid I’m one of the culprits.
OMG = oh my god. Guilty! I even say “OMG” sometimes. It’s invariably followed by a sense of self-loathing.
TMI = too much information. Well, if the phrase “too much information” is something you can’t get your head around, no bloody wonder.
TTYL = talk to you later. OMG if you are going to TTML in that tone of acronym, I’m not sure if I will handle it.
TX, THX or THKS = thanks. Now IMHO, if you’re going to use four of the six letters the word “thanks” consists of, you may as well LTT and include the two vowels. As for the ‘X’ let’s not even go there! #LTS = learn to spell!
TXT = text. I don’t think that saving one letter is worth it, but there it is.

Of course, this is just a broad sampling. Digits are (unfortunately) popular, particularly 4 (for) and 2 (to), so we have 2nite, 2day, 2morrow, 4U, B4, 4eva… the hair on the back of my neck is rising, my nails are growing longer, a deep-throated growl is rising up from my belly. Aha! H2O! A sure-fire way to cool down.

But just try telling me “ILY 4eva”, and I swear, I’ll have a hissy fit that’s second to none and go looking for someone with more poetry in their soul and the ability to spell. FWIW it’s entirely possible I’m the only one who doesn’t think these things are cute which is why I am patronizing you with this particular blog post. Then again, you’re actually reading it, so perhaps you are also mystified by text abbreviations.

You may notice that I didn’t include favorites such as “WTF,” but I dislike excessive use of asterisks almost as much as I dislike text acronyms, so most of the acronyms containing the letter F have been excluded. I will leave them up to your imagination.

(Photo courtesy of Jonas Bengtsson)

How Long Does It Take to Write a 1000 Word Essay?

How long does it take to write an essay?

Oh wow! That’s a tough question. It depends on a whole lot of things. At the same time, you shouldn’t be intimidated. 1,000 words is actually a relatively short piece. A dissertation would usually be in the region of 12,000 words, and university assignments can stretch to essays of 5,000 words. No matter what your assigned word count may be, some of the things that will influence the time it takes to write the essay include:

How long does it take to research an essay?

If you’re writing an opinion piece on something you already have some knowledge about, you may not have to do any research at all. It may just be a matter of organizing your existing thoughts into a coherent essay. If you need to find out about a topic before you begin to write, you can easily get information on certain topics, whilst others will be more obscure and therefore more difficult to research. Clearly, the easier it is to find information, the faster you can write.

How good are your reading comprehension skills?

Some of us can just skim a piece and pick up all the salient points. Others will have to read with more attention, and even re-read a piece several times to extract the information we need. Having good reading and comprehension skills makes writing much faster since you’re able to “get” the facts faster and organize them better. Now you know why you had to do so many reading comprehension tests at school.

How well did you plan?

Throwing yourself headlong at a 1,000-word essay and writing till you reach the word count may seem like the easy option, but it isn’t. Planning your essay so that it begins with an introduction, highlights the most important points you want to make and then wraps everything up into a conclusion actually saves you time. Sometimes, essay instructions will tell you how to structure the piece, so read them carefully and extract any information you can use to guide your essay’s structure.

How fast do you type?

Have you ever gotten lost halfway through a sentence? You know what you wanted to say, but halfway through, the thought slips away from you. The faster you can type, the more easily you can capture thoughts before your mind moves onto the next thing and you forget what you were trying to say. Typing skills are essential in the modern world. Consider using typing games to improve your speed.

How long does it take me to write a 1,000-word essay?

Faster isn’t always better. The more in-depth your report is meant to be, the longer you should spend on it. I can usually research and write a fairly technical magazine article of 1,000 words in three hours, but do remember that I’m a professional writer. I’m fast because I write all day, every day.

The longest I’ve ever spent on a 1,000-word article was 12 hours. It was absolutely brutal! The information I needed to gather was very technical, hard to find, and even more difficult to understand, and you can’t write something until you really understand the subject matter. I also had to contact experts for their opinions, but I couldn’t even ask about their opinions until I could target them with the right questions. As a result, I actually had to write most of the article before slotting in the expert comment.

The quickest I’ve ever written a 1,000-word article is one hour. In this case, I already knew the subject matter well and didn’t have to back up every fact in the essay with references.

Reviewing your work also matters

If you’re writing for grades and want a good one, you need a really good essay. Don’t start writing it the day before you have to hand it in. Try and get your first draft down at least a day or two before you have to submit your work. Then return to it and do your editing. Read your essay aloud to yourself, since this will help you pick up any careless errors you wouldn’t otherwise spot. Check to see if your information flows logically from one point to the next and make sure that you’ve presented your information clearly.

Remember, teachers get tired. They have to read the same kind of essay over and over again when they grade. If they struggle to understand what you’re saying, you might not get as good a grade as you would if you stuck to using short sentences and relatively simple language.

Your reviewing process shouldn’t take all that long. If you don’t have to make a lot of changes, you should be able to do your final edit in under half an hour.

Take your time. Whatever you do, don’t rush. You might want your essay to be written quickly, but if it’s an important essay, taking your time will give you a better finished product. Budget your time conservatively. It’s better to find that you’ve still got time left over than to run out of time and end up dashing things off with a looming deadline.

Below are some basic guidelines if you need a rough estimate on how long it will take to write an essay. It’s important to remember that there are a plethora of mitigating factors that can increase or decrease the time it takes to write. The below numbers are using an estimate that it takes about 3 hours 20 minutes to write a 1000 word essay:

How long does it take to write a 100 word essay?
It takes about 20 minutes to write a 100 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 200 word essay?
It takes about 40 minutes to write a 200 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 250 word essay?
It takes about 50 minutes to write a 250 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 300 word essay?
It takes about 1 hour to write a 300 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 400 word essay?
It takes about 1 hour and 20 minutes to write a 400 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 500 word essay?
It takes about 1 hour and 40 minutes to write a 500 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 600 word essay?
It takes about 2 hours to write a 600 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 700 word essay?
It takes about 2 hours and 20 minutes to write a 700 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 800 word essay?
It takes about 2 hours and 40 minutes to write a 800 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 900 word essay?
It takes about 3 hours to write a 900 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 1,000 word essay?
It takes about 3 hours and 20 minutes to write a 1,000 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 1,250 word essay?
It takes about 4 hours and 10 minutes to write a 1,250 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 1,500 word essay?
It takes about 5 hours to write a 1,500 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 1,750 word essay?
It takes about 5 hours and 50 minutes to write a 1,750 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 2,000 word essay?
It takes about 6 hours and 40 minutes to write a 2,000 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 2,500 word essay?
It takes about 8 hours and 20 minutes to write a 2,500 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 3,000 word essay?
It takes about 10 hours to write a 3,000 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 3,500 word essay?
It takes about 11 hours and 40 minutes to write a 3,500 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 4,000 word essay?
It takes about 13 hours and 20 minutes to write a 4,000 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 4,500 word essay?
It takes about 15 hours to write a 4,500 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 5,000 word essay?
It takes about 16 hours and 40 minutes to write a 5,000 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 6,000 word essay?
It takes about 20 hours to write a 6,000 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 7,000 word essay?
It takes about 23 hours and 20 minutes to write a 7,000 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 7,500 word essay?
It takes about 25 hours to write a 7,500 word essay.

How long does it take to write an 8,000 word essay?
It takes about 26 hours and 40 minutes to write an 8,000 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 9,000 word essay?
It takes about 30 hours to write a 9,000 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 10,000 word essay?
It takes about 33 hours and 20 minutes to write a 10,000 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 12,500 word essay?
It takes about 41 hours and 40 minutes to write a 12,500 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 15,000 word essay?
It takes about 50 hours to write a 15,000 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 20,000 word essay?
It takes about 66 hours and 40 minutes to write a 20,000 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 25,000 word essay?
It takes about 83 hours and 20 minutes to write a 25,000 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 50,000 word essay?
It takes about 166 hours and 40 minutes to write a 50,000 word essay.

(Image courtesy of Miguel)