July 2016 - Word Counter Blog

Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia: The Fear of Long Words

If you have not yet closed your browser in a fit of abject terror, you probably don’t suffer from hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia, the fear of long words. If you think this word is a rather cruel joke at the expense of those who have this phobia, you’re absolutely right. If you have collapsed into a quivering heap, you aren’t reading this anyway, so we’ll continue without fear of reprisals.

Luckily, even though most people don’t like extremely long words, few people have an actual phobia of them. If they did, it would be a little kinder to use the scientifically accepted term. Unfortunately, although it’s a little shorter, it isn’t that much better. Sesquipedalophobia is about half as long and presumably half as frightening to the phobia sufferer.

If you have this fear, which you clearly don’t since you’re still with us, it must be difficult to talk to your therapist about your problem, “I suffer from hippoptomnghurgh…. I mean… Sesquipedaaaaarrrgggh!”

Are there words that are even longer?

Since you’re still reading this, your aversion for long words can’t be all that bad, but after reading about the longest words ever to be coined and used, you may change your mind.

Honorificabilitudinitatibus is the longest word that Shakespeare ever used. It means “the ability to receive honors,” but it’s not only its length that makes it stand out; it also uses alternating consonants and vowels and is the longest word to have this interesting characteristic.

Antidisestablishmentarianism is the longest word in the Oxford Dictionary that wasn’t just invented and that isn’t a technical term. Unless you are concerned about the disestablishment of the Church of England as the official church in England and Wales, it probably isn’t worth learning.

Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, a technical term for a medical condition caused by inhaling silica dust, is the longest word to be listed in a formal dictionary. Luckily for those unfortunate enough to have it, learning how to pronounce this eye-watering word won’t be necessary since it has another, much easier name.

Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch is a place in Wales that demonstrates the Welsh fondness for combining consonants in seemingly unpronounceable ways, but luckily for its residents, the name has been abbreviated to Llanfair PG. Amazingly, Microsoft’s spell-checker recognizes this word when it is in UK English mode.

As for the very longest word ever, it has 189,819 letters, and I’m not even going to try to write it. It comes from organic chemistry, where the names of compounds are derived from the molecule chains they consist of. This word describes a complex protein and is said to take over three hours to pronounce.

Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia and other phobias

If you think a fear of long words is a strange phobia to have, there are some even stranger ones that presumably present a real problem for a few people. Phobias are irrational fears, so we tend to make fun of people who have them. I realize this is rather cruel, but let’s take a short foray into political incorrectness and look at some of the odder ones. If you don’t suffer from them, you may find it amusing.

Coulrophobia, the fear of clowns, is actually quite common, especially among children.

Hylophobia is the fear of trees – “wood” you believe it? I blame the Brothers Grimm and their fairy tales. Kids shouldn’t read such scary stuff. Admittedly, I read their stories in the directly translated form as a child, and I loved the gruesome bits most of all.

Omphalophobia is the fear of belly buttons. Every few years, cropped tee shirts become the fashion, and that must be hard for the Omphalophobe, but just think what a trip to the beach would do to them.

Nomophobia could be something you will identify with. It’s the fear of being without a mobile phone signal.

Triskadecaphobia describes the fear of the number 13. If I wanted to be nasty, I would list 13 phobias just to terrify a small percentage of my readership, but I’ll be kind.

If a friend has Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia

Before you beg them to see a therapist, you can try a little therapy of your own just to see if it drives them even crazier than they already are. If it doesn’t, it may cure them. Give them this article to read aloud, and don’t let them stop until they’ve gone through the whole thing. If they can get past Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch without having a fit, there’s hope. If they can actually pronounce it correctly, I would love to meet them.

Why Should I Blog?

There are hundreds of millions of blogs that exist, so if you happen to be one of those individuals who doesn’t yet have a blog, you might be wondering why you should blog. The truth is there are probably as many reasons to blog as there are blogs, but there are some general reasons why it makes sense for most people to blog. While this isn’t anywhere close to a comprehensive list, here is a few answers to the question, “Why should I blog?”

1. Promotion
2. Online Diary
3. Improve Writing Skills
4. Share Interests
5. Make Money
6. Inform People of Topics Important to You
7. Learn New Skills
8. Challenge Yourself
9. Personal Reasons

Promote Yourself and/or Your Business

This is probably the biggest reason why people start a blog. If you want to boost your online presence, you need to add new content regularly. Businesses often hire freelance writers to provide regular injections of new content to improve their search engine visibility. This also applies to brick and mortar businesses since most people look for information online these days.

Private individuals can also build credibility and a strong reputation through a blog. If you write about your area of specialty, you will be able to refer prospective employers to your blog so that they can see you know your subject well.

Keep a Diary of Life Events

Paper diaries can be lost or stolen, but a blog is much more difficult to lose. No matter where you are, you can go online and post a story about your experiences. Some people keep a blog because they have serious problems they want to get off their chests, others want to keep a record, and some want to immortalize important life events such as having a baby.

If you want to keep your blog private, you can do so. Alternatively, you can opt for public visibility in the hope of meeting like-minded fellow bloggers.

Improve Your Writing and Verbal Skills

Writers and aspiring writers are often avid bloggers, but even a student can improve his or her writing skills by regularly writing blog posts. Practice does help you write better, and if you blog frequently, you’ll see your writing style improves. You’ll also become more confident and expressive as you go along. Plus, it can be fun making friends in the blogging community and reading their work for inspiration. As you use words to express yourself in writing, a side benefit is you may become more confident as a speaker.

Share Your Hobbies and Interests

If you have a relatively unusual hobby, you may struggle to find people who share your passion for vegetable instruments or your dedication to producing historically accurate models of famous battles. The good news is you can find all sorts of people online, and through your blog, you can get in touch with people who share your interest.

You can also use your blog to create an online record of all your completed projects and the process that went into them. This will be interesting to those who would like to follow your example, and you can also get fresh ideas from other people who are doing similar projects or tasks.

Make Money

If you can build up a popular blog, you can make money from it. Even smaller blogs can bring in part-time income. There are a wide variety of ways to create income from a blog these days. That being said, making money from a blog doesn’t start happening overnight. It usually takes several years of regular posting before you can build your blog to the point where it can make you some extra cash.

Draw People’s Attention to Important Issues

If you’re passionate about an important issue, you can draw the public’s attention to it and even influence public policy through your blog. In Wales, two junior school students drew the nation’s attention to poor conditions at their schools using their blogs. The government responded, and the problems were solved.

You can also promote a charity or a cause, gaining support that could be worth hundreds or even thousands of dollars to the organizations you promote.

Learn New Things

Let’s be frank; you don’t have to know a single thing about a topic you decide to blog about. But if you do your research well, you’ll know quite a lot about it by the time you’ve finished writing your first post. If you write a series of posts on a topic, digging a little deeper every time, you could even become an expert.

Challenges Yourself and Build Self-Discipline

A good blog should be run on schedule. Some people post several times a day, others post once or twice a week. By developing a schedule and sticking to it, you’ll be practicing self-discipline. It’s an important mental muscle we all need to work on which can benefit you in many other areas of life beyond blogging. Finding interesting things to write about and presenting them in a creative way is challenging, but it’ll improve your mental agility and give you the satisfaction of knowing you were equal to the challenge.

Your Personal Reasons

The above list of reasons to blog has been broad to include as many potential bloggers as possible. Most individuals will have specific and special reasons to blog that relate to only them. If you find yourself reading this article, chances are you already have reasons to blog but are simply looking for confirmation it’s something you should try. Once you begin, you’ll likely soon find you’ll want to improve your blogging productivity as the next step.

10 Common Writing Mistakes

You’ve just completed the report for your boss or written a business letter, or finished off your paper for your college professor. You run it through spelling and grammar checks, and there are no squiggly lines to show any possible errors. You’re convinced your work is perfect, but unless you take the time to proofread, it may not be nearly as perfect as you assume. If you get lazy, there’s a good chance you’ll make one of the following common writing errors:

Incomplete Sentences

These are also known as fragment sentences. A full sentence will usually have an actor and an action, or to put it formally, a subject and a verb. Think of a sentence as a “thought.” The whole thought has to be expressed within the sentence.

“My cat is cross. Because she is feisty.”

The first sentence is fine, the second one is a fragment. You can either turn this thought into one sentence or change the second sentence to make it complete: “Because she is feisty, that often happens,” or simply, “She is feisty.”

Run-On Sentences

A lot of people think a “run-on” means the sentence is too long, but that’s not technically correct, although it’s often the case. If you use more than one subject and verb combination without using the correct punctuation, you have written a run-on sentence.

“I’m not sure if he’ll settle down in China it’s often difficult for Westerners to adapt.”

There are a lot of possible ways to fix this:

Write two sentences: “I’m not sure if he’ll settle down in China. It’s often difficult for Westerners to adapt.”
Use a semi-colon: “I’m not sure if he’ll settle down in China; it’s often difficult for Westerners to adapt.” Read the article on semi-colon use to see why this easy fix works.
Use a conjunction: “I’m not sure if he’ll settle down in China because it’s often difficult for Westerners to adapt.”

Another common run-on is called “comma splicing.” It means that you are joining two thoughts that could have been separate sentences with a comma. Use a semi-colon, add a conjunction, or split them into two sentences.

Similar Word Mistakes

This is awfully common. People write “your” when they mean “you’re,” they write “affect” when they mean “effect,” and they often mix up “it’s” and “its.” Unfortunately, these words aren’t interchangeable and have very different meanings.

Incorrect Tenses

Whatever you do, be careful how you switch tenses. Although there are times when you can do so, you need to follow the right formula. “I was putting on my makeup when the perfume bottle falls over,” is an example of incorrectly mixed tenses.

Comma Usage

It would be easy to write an entire blog post on when commas should and shouldn’t be used. It’s not really difficult to get your comma usage right, but you may have to study the subject carefully to gain an understanding of the rules. Since most people are muddled about where commas should go, you’ll be ahead of the pack if you can master the art.

Incoherent Flow

To keep your work crisp, clear, and concise, it’s important to organize your thoughts before you begin to write. If you don’t, you could end up with a hodge-podge of ideas that don’t make sense to your reader. What is the thought you’re trying to get across? Introduce it. What points will you discuss in order to reinforce your central idea? Organize them into paragraphs. What do you think this proves? Bring it all together to a conclusion.

Singular Noun with Plural Pronoun (or the other way around)

This can be trickier than it sounds. For example: “When the student council got together, they decided to approach the dean with their problem.” It sounds fine, doesn’t it? What a pity it’s wrong. The student council is a single body or entity, therefore, it cannot be a “they”. It may consist of people, but it’s not a person. Substitute “it” and “its” for “they” and “them” and all’s well.

Too Complicated

Sometimes bosses like this sort of thing. They’re impressed when you write “With regard to” instead of “Regarding” or “About.” They like “We are of the opinion” rather than “We think” and so on. Admittedly, none of these examples is actually wrong and does help you increase your word count, but using language like this can sound pompous and makes the message less clear. I have been at loggerheads with many employers about clumsy, formal phrases. Business communication should be clear.

The other danger that lurks in wait for those hoping to sound impressive is long-winded sentences are much easier to get wrong. Writing simply and clearly makes your work easier for you to check, and reduces your opportunities for error.

Here’s a lovely example of “correct” but long-winded writing:

A dual-member team proceeded toward the apex of a natural geological protuberance, the purpose of their expedition being the procurement of a sample of fluid hydride of oxygen in a large vessel, the exact size of which was unspecified. One member of the team precipitately descended, sustaining severe fractional damage to the upper cranial portion of the anatomical structure. Subsequently, the second member of the team performed a self-rotation translation oriented in the direction taken by the first team member.

What does this mean? Here’s the answer:

“Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after.”

Grocer’s Apostrophes

You’ve seen the signs outside stores: “Apple’s, banana’s and carrot’s special!” Restaurants are also often guilty: “The best pizza’s in town!” Those apples may be on special, and maybe the pizzas are pretty good, but the apostrophe use isn’t. Apostrophes signify a missing letter in an abbreviated word like “don’t,” and they can indicate “belonging to” with the exception of “its.” The apostrophized version, in this case, is an abbreviation for “it is”.

Trusting Spell Check

I love this topic, so I could go on and on about it. Let’s look at some typos that spell check will never notice:

“Oink dresses” (Pink dresses)
“Weeding dress” (wedding dress)
“Sinning with the choir” (singing with the choir)
“Beast psychologists” (best psychologists)
“Inhuman resources” (in human resources)

And my favorite is a mistake I sometimes see when someone is signing off a letter and write “Kind retards.” To avoid these errors, read through your work carefully, preferably aloud. Spell check is helpful, but only up to a point (or pint).

(Image courtesy of Chris & Karen Highland)

How Do You Spell Horderves?

The reason you’re likely here reading this article is you need to know the spelling of “horderves” and not knowing it, you simply sounded it out. While the word may sound like horderves, this is not the correct spelling. The correct spelling of horderves is hors d’oeuvres.

Of course, it’s not always necessary to know how to spell the foods you serve. Nobody is going to know you don’t know how to spell the word correctly when you say “horderves” as you place out appetizers. On the other hand, if you’re writing an article and happen to want to talk about the appetizers you served using the “cuisine” word, it becomes a little more important to know the correct spelling.

Borrowing from the French

If you go into the origins of common words, you’ll discover that borrowing from the French is not that unusual: “cuisine” is basically French for cooking. Hors d’oeuvres is another word we have borrowed from the French. Directly translated, “hors” means “except” and “oeuvres” means “works.” This may not initially seem too helpful, but if you assume that the main course is “the works,” and you interpret “hors” as meaning “outside,” the phrase basically means “outside the main course.”

Now you know something that most English-speaking people never stop to think about. Is it useful? Possibly. You’re now in the position to give any dinner guests you may have over this little gem of information.

What probably won’t make the grade as dinner table conversation is all the common misspellings for the word, but now that you know how it’s spelled, you’ll be able to see them everywhere. Some get the “hors” bit right as well as the “d” and its apostrophe, but then they spoil it by spelling the last bit as “oueveres” for hors d’oueveres. You’ll be amazed at the number of permutations.

Perhaps one day, we’ll adopt the word into the English language by changing the spelling to one that makes more sense to us, in which case, it’ll likely become “horderves” or “orderves.”

Taking It to the Next Level

Aside from the many dishes that can make up starters or hors d’oeuvres, you also get two ways of serving hors d’oeuvres. You can place the dishes on the table and let everyone help themselves, or you can have somebody pass the dish around allowing guests to select what they want to eat. Now you can make the distinction between “table” hors d’oeuvres and “butler-style” or “butlered” hors d’oeuvres.

Not Quite the Same as Hors D’Oeuvres

Now that you know how to use this chic French word to describe starters, you need to be careful that you don’t get muddled up and use it in the wrong place. It will spoil the great impression you’ll make by knowing how to spell the word, how to serve them and what the French words actually mean.

Canapes are not hors d’oeuvres. Instead of being foods you use to start off a meal, they’re savory finger-snacks that are served at cocktail hour.

Antipasto is also not the same as hors d’oeuvres. Although it consists of a range of dishes served before a meal, the style will be Italian, and antipasto is always served at the table. You can still call it a starter, and if you want to use French, you could call it an entree.

A smorgasbord is also not the same as hors d’oeuvres. Like antipasto, it is served before the meal and consists of foods that are related to the Scandinavian culture from which the word has been borrowed.

You can now go forth and charm your dinner guests. You now not only know how to spell “hors d’oeuvres,” but how to serve them, what they are, and what they are not. Your culinary education may not be complete, but you’re off to a good start. At least you’ll never have to eat your words.

(Photo courtesy of Richard Munckton)

What Are Transition Words?

Transition words are words or phrases used to link ideas together. They help your reader to see more than one point is important and both should be taken into consideration. They also indicate different ideas in the same paragraph or sentence are related.

Let’s get into the different types of transition words to make the concept clearer. This won’t give you the full list of transition words, but will make it possible to easily recognize them. These words can be used to show two things agree with each other, are similar to each other, or you’re giving additional information.

When you are adding information or reinforcing an idea you might use one of the following transition words:

Also
In addition
Likewise
In the first place
Not only (an additional ‘also’ comes into the sentence when you use this one)
Not to mention
By the same token
Coupled with
In the light of
Equally

Some of these are also short, basic words such as:

And
To
Again
Also
Like
Then

Transition words can be used to point out a contradiction, a limitation or an opposing point of view:

Rather than
Although this may be true
On the contrary
In contrast
Despite
In reality
Then again
Even though
On the other hand
At the same time
But
Rather
Or
Yet
While
Albeit
Notwithstanding

When you are trying to link cause and effect, write about something that is conditional or express an intention, you may also use transitional words:

In the event of (or that)
For the purpose of
Inasmuch as
For fear that
As long as
Granted that
With this in mind
In order to
In view of
Because of
With this intention
If
Unless
While
When
Whenever

Another time you’d use these words is when you want to give an example, support a point or emphasize it:

Especially
In other words
For one thing
For this reason
That is to say
In this case
Must be remembered
For example
Notably
Like
Truly
Chiefly
Expressly
Significantly
In fact

We also use transitional words to show that something has a consequence or result:

Accordingly
In that case
As a result
Thus
Consequently
Under these circumstances
Hence
Therefore
Henceforth
Forthwith

We use them to make conclusions too:

Generally speaking
All things considered
In the long run
As shown
In conclusion
In a word
As has been noted
Given that
After all
In short
By and large
In any event
All in all
Obviously
Definitely
Ultimately

…and to define a time period

At the present time
Presently
From time to time
Sooner or later
At the same time
Simultaneously
To begin with
Meanwhile
Eventually
Finally
Last
Until
Before
Whenever
Next
Now

Lastly (did you spot the transition word there?), transition words can indicate a place or space:

In the middle
Central to
In the center of
Adjacent to
Opposite to
In front of
Near
Below
Under
Down
Up
Beyond
Amid
Across
Alongside

It’s important to note that none of these words and phrases are actually wrong, I’m inclined to think that using simple, straightforward language is best. This means that you often don’t need to use many of the transition words listed above.

For example, I’m guilty of using “in addition,” but I could just as easily say “also” or even “and.” As for “albeit” and “notwithstanding,” I’m inclined to think that “but” and “nevertheless” are every bit as good and much more accessible to a reader. “For the purpose of” is also one I’ll admit to using, but it can easily be reduced to three letters. I prefer “for” and it will do the job just as well most of the time. As for “At the present time,” the word “now” is really all we need. “In the event of” is similar. It can be replaced with the two letter word “if.”

You’ll usually only use the wordier of these transition phrases in academic writing, and they can be helpful. After all, although your choice of transition words may not necessarily impress your teacher, you can use the longer phrases to stretch your word count. Remember, every time you write “in the event of” instead of “if” that’s three words towards your target word count instead of one. “For the purpose of” could just be “for,” but then you only get one word instead of four. Transition words are handy, and everyone uses them a lot, but be careful about using excessively wordy ones unnecessarily.

Are Acronyms Words?

As you know, acronyms are letters or phrases that we often use in the same way as we use words. For example, NATO and NASA are acronyms. You just read each as they stand. Sometimes, acronyms don’t sound quite right when you read then as words. For example, in a sentence about the FDA, you pronounce each letter of FDA as you would when saying the alphabet, instead of phonetically.

It’s important to remember each letter of an acronym represents a word, so acronyms aren’t the same as abbreviations. For instance, we might abbreviate “street” as “St.” or “avenue” as “Ave.” The letters don’t stand for distinct words as they do with acronyms.

Then there are acronyms that are composed of syllables, just to make things a bit more confusing. An example of such an acronym would be “Benelux.” It stands for three countries: Belgium, the Netherlands, and Luxembourg, and each country gets two letters in the acronym rather than just one.

So, Are Acronyms Words?

Linguists seem to agree that acronyms really are words. The linguistic phenomenon they represent is known as “blending,” and although the use of acronyms was once a lot rarer than it is today, we can quite safely say that acronyms are words, even if they don’t appear in any dictionary.

Some acronyms are so well-used that instead of asking if these acronyms are words, we use them as such without ever realizing they are acronyms. If anyone ever argues with you when you assert that acronyms are words, you can use these examples to catch them off guard.

Base jumping: Have you ever wondered why jumping from high places is called ‘base’ jumping? In this case, “base” stands for the kinds of things you can jump off if you’re really crazy: Building, Aerial, Span or Earth.

Captcha: Have you ever wondered why the letters and numbers we type in to show we’re human are called “captchas?” Time for the next bit of trivia! It stands for “Completely Automated Public Turing Test to Tell Computers and Humans Apart.”

Care packages: Most people think a care package is sent to show that someone cares, and this acronym was probably deliberately developed so that people would make that association. In fact, it stands for “Cooperative for Assistance and Relief Everywhere.”

Gestapo: Well, it’s German, so people can be pardoned for not realizing it’s an abbreviation for “Geheime Staatspolizei,” but now you do!

Radar and Sonar: Surprised? So was I! They stand for “Radio Detection and Ranging” and “Sound Navigation and Ranging” respectively. If anyone should argue that an acronym can’t be a word, these two words will provide the clinchers to the ensuing argument.

Scuba: Now that we’re getting into the swing of things, you may like to hazard a guess, but it’s unlikely you’ll guess “Self-Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus.” Diving would be way less sexy-sounding as a sport if people had to say the whole thing, “I’m just going Self-Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus diving this weekend.”

Laser When you read “laser” in an article, there’s a pretty good chance the true meaning of this acronym (Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation) doesn’t instantly pop into your mind. This is another example of how we use acronyms as words without even realizing it.

Zip Codes: You guessed it. “Zip” is an acronym. It stands for Zone Improvement Plan. While you may debate whether or not the plan actually worked to improve the zones, there’s no denying that this acronym is often used without people knowing that it is one.

For the purpose of counting words when writing an essay, article or book, word counters will treat acronyms as a single word rather than as all the words within their meaning. This can be frustrating when you’re trying to reach a certain word count, but a benefit when you’re attempting to reduce word count.

What if all these examples aren’t sufficient to convince the person you’re debating with that an acronym is really a word? While we never would encourage you to actually use physical force, you may become frustrated enough to consider using Thomas A. Swift’s Electric Rifle on them. What’s that? A taser of course!

(Photo courtesy of Mat Hampson)

How to Write a Review

There are numerous places where you’re only expected to leave a brief comment when you write a review. For example, an Amazon review consists of allocating a star rating and writing anything from a couple of words: “Great product!” to a couple of paragraphs to explain just why you think the product or vendor is or isn’t great. You can say whatever you like. Nobody’s going to expect a structured review article. They just want to know if you think the product is any good or not, and your opinion allows them to compare reviews with those of others.

If, however, you want to write a more serious review on a book, movie or product, you’ll be writing a full article, and that means you need to apply some sort of structure. There are no hard and fast rules, and you may be limited to some degree as many times reviews will have word count limits, but this is how I like to approach a review article.

Introduce the Thing You Are Reviewing

Your reader wants to know exactly what you are reviewing. If it’s a book or a movie, they’d like to know whether previous efforts by the same author or movie maker were well-received. If it’s a product, they’ll want to know what the product is, who made it, and perhaps some historical background on the manufacturers or their products.

Remember, you know what you’re reviewing because you’ve seen it, heard it, tasted it, touched it, used it, or otherwise consumed it in whatever form it’s intended to be consumed. Your reader doesn’t. Provide readers with the information they need about the item you’re reviewing in your very first paragraph.

In some cases, particularly when you’re reviewing a product, telling your reader why you felt the need to buy it can also help. Give your “why” before or after your “what.” Now your reader will know what you are talking about and what need the item fulfills.

What Did You Like and Dislike About the Product?

Although there are some things you’ll review that don’t have a single good thing about them, that’s pretty rare. For example, a book I recently read was based on a puerile premise and was packed with plot cliches, but the style in which it was written was actually rather good.

For the sake of getting to the point, I usually begin with whatever made the biggest impression. In my example, I’d kick off with the things that annoyed me about the book. Giving reasons for your opinion helps your reader to decide whether the things you did or didn’t like would be the kind of things they identify with. For example: “With its focus on cliched, pulp fiction plotlines that are so full of holes you could use them as a colander, xxx book turned out to be an annoying read. I felt the reader wasn’t being credited with intelligence and the author wasn’t really trying.”

But it wouldn’t be fair to only give my opinion on the things I didn’t like, so I might follow that up with: “The author’s writing style is nevertheless beautiful – the only reason why I persevered with the story all the way through to its unsurprising ending.”

What Could Make It More Acceptable to You?

Even when you’re reviewing something you really like, there’s usually room for some kind of improvement. At the risk of annoying its many fans, I could say that the book War and Peace is a trifle too long, for example. After all, a review is an expression of opinions, and you or I can have any opinions we like as long as we can back them up with information. Using my silly book (not War and Peace) as an example, I would probably say: “If the same author could come up with a more original and less sentimental plotline instead of rehashing a formula, I’d be very interested in seeing the result.”

Sum It All Up

Lazy readers, which is to say most people, will read your opening paragraph and then skim down to your concluding paragraph to see if you actually did arrive at a conclusion. This paragraph briefly sums up the main points you’ve highlighted and may end with a call to action such as “Boycott this hotel!” or “Try it for yourself, I think you’ll love it as much as I did.”

More Serious Reviews

Most reviews follow the structure we’ve discussed above. If you’re being asked for a subjective opinion, you can back it up by describing how you arrived at it, but sometimes you have to write a “literature review.” This means you have to track down all the published literature you can find on a certain topic and piece it together with references so that you can draw a coherent conclusion that is supported by the accepted academic works you’ve discovered. It’s much harder to do, and it’s nevertheless not as daunting as you might think, but that’s a topic for a future article.

What Is An Oxford Comma?

There is a lot of confusion when it comes to the Oxford comma and whether or not it should be used. To make matters worse, there was a time when school children were taught they should never use the Oxford comma. That’s no longer the case today.

While Oxford commas are strictly optional, different style guides will tell you different things about them. Simply put, an Oxford comma is a comma that comes before a conjunction such as “and,” “but,” or “if.” Journalists often dispense with it, but doing so can make their writing more difficult to understand.

I had a client who queried my use of this useful little punctuation mark for any reason, but when I showed him what consequences could befall if it was omitted (and proved that it really is acceptable to use it) he had to give in. Actually, he told me he was quite relieved because his boss often used it and he had been forcibly restraining himself from saying anything about the ‘error.’

Can You Put a Comma Before ‘And’?

Not only can you place a comma before an ‘and,’ sometimes it’s important you do. Let’s look at some of the ways an Oxford comma can help to prevent you from saying something outrageous you didn’t really mean. Take a look at this sentence:

“I called my parents, my counselor and my teacher.”

There’s nothing wrong with it, but if I didn’t know you, I might think that your counselor and your teacher were your parents. Are you confused? Well, let’s say your parents are called John and Mary. How would you say you spoke to them? You’d probably say:

“I spoke to my parents, John and Mary.”

Do you see where the comma is? Now let’s assume that John and Mary aren’t your parents, but that you spoke to them as well as speaking to your parents.

“I spoke to my parents, John, and Mary.”

In this sentence, it’s an Oxford comma which clarifies exactly who you happen to be talking to.

The lack of an Oxford comma might add some extra confusion as to who you are talking to:

“I had fish, coffee and dessert.”

“I had fish, coffee, and desert”

If we were to split hairs, my first sentence could be me talking to my coffee and dessert in order to tell them I had fish. The second example is clearer and shows I had all three of these things and I’m not actually talking to any of them.

If you aren’t convinced yet, here are some real-life examples when journalists probably should have used the Oxford comma when writing their article headlines.

“World leaders at Mandela tribute, Obama-Castro handshake and same sex marriage date set.”

The lack of a comma is the difference from worldwide breaking news and a recap of what happened that particular day. Obama to marry Castro? Who would have thought it? A simple Oxford comma would have eliminated any confusion.

Here’s another example. The Times of London reported that Peter Ustinov went on a tour and met a number of interesting people – or perhaps he met a single one who had habits we never knew about:

“Highlights of his global tour included encounters with Nelson Mandela, an 800-year-old demi-god and a dildo collector.”

We always knew Mandela was old when he passed away, but nobody knew he was 800 years old, and he had an affinity for collecting sex toys. The insertion of the Oxford comma would have kept many people from taking a double-take when reading that sentence.

There are those who hate the Oxford comma. The AP style guide says that the serial comma or Oxford comma is wrong. Other style guides say that it’s OK and that it can eliminate confusion as to your meaning. Generally speaking, there is no right or wrong answer to this question. While some people get quite passionate about arguing for or against this little punctuation mark coming before a conjunction, it’s not worth getting worked up about either way in most situations. What’s important to remember is there are instances where adding it can eliminate ambiguity.

(Photo courtesy of Dave Bezaire)

What Are Power Words?

Little words can make a big difference as to how powerful and persuasive your writing is. Although some bloggers have tried to make long lists of power words, almost any word can become powerful. It just depends on how you use it. Power words forge an emotional connection, they indicate action and achievement, or they make people feel they’re right there with you. The reason you write has a lot to do with the power words you choose.

Power Words in Marketing

Let’s suppose I’m a fitness expert and on my website, my slogan is “Feel good about your body.” That’s pretty strong already, but almost anyone can feel good about their body, even if they are overweight and a couch potato.

Let’s make that more powerful: “Feel good about your body again.” Now I’m implying that you don’t feel good about your body, but there was a time when you did, and that if you take action, you’ll feel better about it. Suddenly, my slogan says a whole lot more. Our overweight couch potato is less likely to say, “I feel fine about my body, thanks,” and is more likely to say, “Yes, I’d like to feel good about my body in the same way I used to when I was trim and active.”

One word engages the imagination. In our example, those who know they used to feel better about their bodies than they do now will remember that, and maybe they’ll want to experience that feeling again. They have a reason to read on to find out how the fitness training can help them.

Power words engage the emotions and the imagination in marketing. Have you ever noticed that marketers will say things like “This could be you,” or “Imagine…” followed by some vision of loveliness that you definitely can imagine and certainly would want.

Other power words marketers love are “scientifically proven,” “innovative,” or “unique.” But be careful how you use them. People are becoming suspicious of the most commonly used power words.

For example, when I see the word “innovative,” I’m no longer convinced. 90% of companies will tell you that they or their products are “innovative.” How are they all innovative? They may have some difficulty explaining. In fact, their business or its products may be very similar to their competitors’. That means they aren’t innovative at all.

Instead of using the same power words that everyone else uses, put yourself in your customers’ shoes and ask yourself what words would have an impact on them. What emotions relate to the need your product is trying to address?

Will you relieve your customers’ worries and fears?
Will you enhance their status?
Can you improve their social life?
Will they be entertained or amused?
Are they likely to have a better self-image if they choose what you’re selling?

What words will bring the feelings behind these needs across powerfully? Just be sure that what you’re offering really can deliver on the promise your words imply. For example, I once did some writing for a guy who had an invoicing service. One of his slogans was “Get paid faster.” I’m all in favor of that! That’s powerful stuff! I especially like “paid” and “faster.” But he proved to be an excruciatingly slow payer, even when I used his own invoicing and reminder service to bill him. Do I use it now? Take a guess for yourself.

Power Words in Your Resume

When you’re writing a resume, you obviously have to be much more formal, but you still want to use power words. It’s just the type of words that become powerful that differ. In resume writing, you want to highlight the things you’ve done, so ‘doing’ words become more important.

Most experts will tell you to start each sentence describing your work history with a past tense verb. For example, words like “achieved,” “designed,” “conceived,” “coordinated,” “generated,” “exceeded,” and “implemented” are all considered powerful when writing a resume. Some recruiters even have software that looks for them and draws them to HR managers’ attention.

Power Words for Writers

It’s not just people selling their services as employees and those who want to persuade you to buy their products or services that use power words. Nothing could be more powerful than the carefully chosen words used in great works of literature. How do they sway your emotions? Why do you get “sucked in” so you simply can’t put a book down till you’ve finished it? It’s the power words that writers use that make us feel as if we’re ‘part’ of a story.

A good writer can stir us to want to make war or inspire us to love. They can make us laugh or cry, believe in their cause or identify with the feelings of fictional characters who never existed in reality. They can make us feel as if we’re in the midst of a bustling city or alone on a misty mountaintop. That’s the power of words.

Almost any word can be a power word, depending on how you use it. Adjectives, adverbs, and words that express or evoke emotions are among these, but as we’ve seen, a simple word like “again” can add power to a phrase.

(Photo courtesy of Reuben Whitehouse)

How Long Does It Take to Write a Book?

How long is a piece of string? How tall is a tree? As we so often find, there is no single answer to certain questions, and the question of how long it takes to write a book is one of these. There are so many variables that come into play it would be difficult to enumerate them all, but generally speaking, the volume of text, the complexity of the subject matter and the amount of time a writer can actually devote to his or her writing are among the factors that would influence the answer. For those looking for the most rudimentary of guidelines, it takes a year to write a book. Now that has been written, it’s also important to point out that the year-to-book timeline doesn’t really apply to anything more than a framework to get some writers started.

Some of the quickest books to write

E-books: The fastest I’ve ever written an e-book from beginning to end was just one week. It consisted of 25,000 words, which would have made it a bit short if the book were to be printed for an adult reading audience; but for an e-book, it was relatively substantial. The topic required quite a lot of research, so if I’d picked a subject that was a little less factual than “How to train for a marathon,” I estimate I could have finished even faster.

Heavily illustrated books: Kids books for a very young reading audience and coffee table books that consist mainly of images can be even quicker to write. I’ve knocked off a kids’ story in less than an hour, and just captioning images doesn’t take long when eye-candy is the principal selling point of a book. That doesn’t mean the book will be ready in that amount of time. Since these books aren’t primarily about writing, the writing is the easiest and quickest part of the process. The other aspects (photography, illustrations) will take much longer.

Recipe books: It doesn’t take long to write a recipe book, but if you take time spent in the kitchen testing your recipes and taking photographs of your mouth-watering results into account, it can turn into quite a lengthy project. But the actual writing? It doesn’t take long at all.

No and Low Content Books: There are actually books that have little to no written content. A journal with quotes could be written in a day if that long. So could a car mileage log book.

What about your magnum opus?

I’d love to be able to tell you how many words you’d write a day if you worked on your literary masterpiece all day every day, but everyone has their own pace, and some days are better than others. In general, I manage a word count of about 4,000 words on a writing a day – provided I have direction and know what comes next. I edit on the following day, and that takes anything from half the day to the whole day, depending on my form when I drafted the original text, my mood, and whether I’m feeling self-confident on the day. That brings down the final number to about 2,000 words a day when averaging it out.

If you’re really writing something that means a lot to you, completing your book could take years. A friend of mine decided she needed to change the focus of her autobiographical work when she was already halfway through writing it. I think it was the right decision, but it meant she had to go back and revise absolutely everything she’d already written.

Another writing buddy faced repeated rejections from publishers when she submitted her science fiction story. One publisher was kind enough to tell her what he thought needed changing, and she’s been reworking the whole thing by fits and starts ever since.

Even non-fiction works can take ages to compile. Edward Gibbon’s “Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire” took 20 years to complete, but it is still considered to be the definitive work on Roman history. Meanwhile, “The Cantos” by Ezra Pound took a massive 52 years to write, and he would probably still be writing it if he were still alive. The unfinished book was published after his death in 1969.

Then again, Mickey Spillane is said to have written his first novel in just 19 days, and Earle Stanley Gardener used to publish four books every year. Could detective fiction be one of the easiest genres to tackle? However, Jack Kerouac takes the cake with “On the Road” — a book that he is said to have completed over a single weekend. Mind you, I’ve read it, or tried to, and it’s difficult to digest.

Anything from a week to a lifetime

Here’s the bottom line: depending on a whole range of factors, writing a book could take you as little as a week or as long as a lifetime. If you’re serious about writing a book and getting it published before you depart from this mortal coil, I’d advise you to get started now. Create a framework to guide you through the chapters you have to write, and set mini-deadlines for yourself so that you’re forced to keep working at it. If you receive rejection letters, see if you can distil any valuable information from them. Then go back to your book and see if you can accommodate the ideas you’ve been given without completely deconstructing your story and starting over. The sooner you can get it back to the kind publisher who actually took the trouble of reading your proof and commenting on it, the greater your chance of getting it published.

(Photo courtesy of Tim Geers)